Warren's Blog

PFS Has Done Well This Time

2009-06-28T02:34:00.003+08:00

Its out of pure boredom. that i return writing this post. HeHe its holiday and its time for more fun. Only one thing to say now,
Congrats to PFS for making a really good concert and they certainly prepared well and put up a very nice performance. Themed Phantom of The Opera, they really made it as similar as they could. The one thing which seriously without a doubt stunned everyone was the singing. Its almost as similar as the one in the movie some time ago. Sending shivers down the spine everytime the pitch takes a note higher. My 5 years in PFS, never have they been so impressive frankly speaking. To all who missed it, what a shame. Its great and the production committee deserves a great reward from the school :D Though they will most likely be praised by Ramli Din on Assembly (thats almost all he could do back then) but i think its enough for them cause they really seemed to have enjoyed their part. Another thing, the crowd seems to be filled with roughly 90% of high school students. It really shud start attracting more parents, that way talented ones there would be spotted. Great work nevertheless PFS

Rewind One Year

2009-04-02T17:10:00.002+08:00

I WILL DEFINITELY RELIVE THE PAST

Its been too long already. While there's still time i think its time for me to get back what i have enjoyed back then.

Brother's recent indulgence

2009-03-18T22:27:00.002+08:00

Has become blogging.
How surprising.
Nah, the link.

http://awritingprescription.blogspot.com/

I must say its fun to read it. As many as 7 posts so far, its a great start. Visit it if you guys can. I think it would be kinda interesting to keep up with his posts. He is a real creative dude since like forever. Big dreams for his blog, he has. So please give him some feedback regarding his blog since there are many of you there who have been in this for years.

14 02 09

2009-02-14T12:46:00.005+08:00

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!

&

HAPPY SINGLES AWARENESS DAY!!

To all couples, yet-to-be couples, trying-to-be couples, bestfriends-to-couples to be, great friends with you, and not forgetting to loved ones i.e. FatherMotherSisterBrotherandtheGrands...

Today is D-Day, where all the above mentioned shall be scammed...JUST JOKING..i mean shall be filled with first, excitement then second, anxiety and nervousness, then joy and to end it all, with pleasure!ok mayb the last one not all will get la but its alright dudes and dudess' , there are many more February 14's to celebrate.

So, guys & girls, today please don't be too expensive to the other party. It's sometimes better to let your price tag drop off for the day. It creates a better opening for the other. Give them the chance to do what they couldn't on the other 14's of other months. So that he/she and you would go to sleep with absolutely no regrets and doubts as to how the day should have went.

**Approximately 12 hours later**

Since its all already kinda over, so no worries for me to post anymore. Bet my arse that Reuben,Kelvin and Yang did awesomely well today. Big harvest!Lol. Reuben's was walaoeh!!!Yang's was maleh!!!hahahahaha Kel's leh wo bu zi dao coz i din keep track lah his one was the other side of the island. Should have went well la he was still alive when he called me around 11 plus at night. And and..the beach at the night was like WTF since when beach so lakuuu! theres like at least 50 couples there man and and...im not part of it cibai hahahahahahah all sorts of "style" the couples got to "enjoy" the beach lo. Some do the ritual bondage style sitting inside the heartshaped candles tingy..some doing the snakesss thinking people cannot see lidat..some do pretending style..and etc. WahSai dam keat la the people..then mana zai im not the oni one who tot of fireworks (which i didn bring go) instead saw dam alot. SPAM LAH THEIR POCKET!

Anyhow, actually its kinda fun :D though not being part of it seemed shitty but actually its goooooooddddd wallets safe thats for sure.

God knows how many people pregnant tonight..AIDS included.

JUST JOKING!!!

I mean how many people are resigning for the 'bujang' position. Bound to have many =))

I Flirt? @ @

2009-02-12T16:07:00.001+08:00

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)

The Bottom Line

You've been flirting with someone a lot -- decide whether you're serious or not.

In Detail

You've been flirting with someone a lot lately and they might be interested in turning up the heat -- get ready for an overture of sorts to happen today. Think long and hard about whether or not you want to get closer to them. Once you move beyond the flirtatious stage, you lose a little bit of freedom. And if you're not looking for a new romance right now, you need to be up front about it with them. Flirting for the sake of flirting is fine -- you haven't been making promises to them. Yet.

YA ALLAH!! SO DAM WRONG!totally untrue lah i think friendster is losing its touch on horoscopes.

Dead Blogs

2009-02-06T12:50:00.002+08:00

MINE is one :D awesomely dead actually. Since the previous post up till now, too hectic to put it into words so i don't bother with this anymore. In summary, it's alright. No big problems and no big special cases. A smooth sailing holiday which is bout to end in 3 days time. Nevertheless, i think its better to be attending classes than to rot at home everyday. Don't expect much anymore of this blog, the happening part has already ended, no more repeats of previous-kinda posts.

Ta-ta

V(^-^)V

Wtf So Damn Nice

2008-11-09T18:28:00.003+08:00

Listen to the one above first omg. When i first saw it already cinta sekali pandang.

You are my

2008-11-09T10:59:00.003+08:00

Turn around,
Turn around and fix your eye in my direction
So there is a connection.
Now I can't speak,
I can't make a sound to somehow capture your attention
I'm staring at perfection.

Take a look at me so you can see
How beautiful you are.

You call me a stranger, you say I'm a danger,
But all these thoughts are leaving you tonight.
I'm broken, abandoned; you are an angel
Making all my dreams come true tonight.

I'm confident,
But I can't pretend I wasn't terrified to meet you.
I knew you could see right through me
I saw my life flash right before my very eyes
And any chance what we turn into
I was hoping that you could see

Take a look at me so you can see...

You call me a stranger, you say I'm a danger,
But all these thoughts are leaving you tonight.
I'm broken, abandoned; you are an angel
Making all my dreams come true tonight.

You are an angel
Making all my dreams come true tonight.

Take a look at me so you can see
How beautiful you are...

Your beauty seems so far away
I'd have to write a thousand songs
To make you comprehend how beautiful you are.
I know that I can't make you stay
But I would give my final breath
To make you understand how beautiful you are.
Understand how beautiful you are.

You call me a stranger, you say I'm a danger
But all these thoughts are leaving you tonight.
I'm broken, abandoned; you are an angel
Making all my dreams come true tonight.

You call me a stranger...
You say I'm a danger...
You call me a stranger...

Ah Ryn's Tag

2008-10-30T07:51:00.003+08:00

1 ) At what age do you wish to marry?
Anytime I feel its correct.

2 ) If you have the chance, what would you probably say to your beloved one?
How are you? :D

3 ) If you were to be stranded on a desert island, who are the 3 blog buddies you would take with you?
Kelvin - So he can do the hunting for food la, either that or he chops himself for food since he has alot to spare.
Aaron - Thus, i can still remember to call someone lame lolol and also he can swim in search of another island. He's a lifeguard btw
Su Yang- Err...kinda doubt having him along you see cause when he's hungry its a lil dangerous with 4 guys on a deserted island.

4 ) Where is the place you want to go the most and with whom?
A place with extremely beautiful scenery. New Zealand perhaps? with someone i don't mind spending alot of time with. Loved one perhaps.

5 ) If you can have one dream to come true, what would it be?
To know whats going on in your mind.

6 ) Do you believe you can survive without money?
Err..i'd like to know who can so i can learn. if Su Yang is counted a survivor then i think i can too.

7 ) What are you afraid to lose the most?
THE important ones closest to me.

8 ) If you win 1 million, what would you do?
Err..put it into the bank and i don't have to work anymore?

9 ) If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Hard to answer lo..depends.

10 ) List out the good points of the person who tagged you.
HAHAHAHAHA this is the best part. O K i tink im done ad.. =)

11 ) What am i doing now?
Whatever.

12 ) Which type of person do you hate the most?
People that create a new nest prior to destroying their current one.

13 ) What is your ambition?
I just know it is to be rich.

14 ) What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
Don't get the question.

15 ) What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Family, friends, money and ourself.

16 ) Are you a shopaholic or not?
So far not but i can be i guess.

17 ) What do you see when you look into a mirror?
The Great Me.

18 ) Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
Currently very diversified you see..Von, Yang..thats bout it lah lol

19 ) What is your desired age to lose ur virginity?
Whenever it is the CORRECT time.

20 ) What are you afraid of?
Reptiles..snakes..yea it gives me the creeps and and hate to admit but also afraid of failing..in all aspects.

Challenge or Dream

2008-10-16T01:57:00.005+08:00

Every human faces challenges in life. Some tougher than others yet this is what keeps us awake and aware of what we know now. Without these challenges, we wouldn’t be who we are now. We wouldn’t be as tough we know we are. We wouldn’t be able to stand up as swiftly if we fall now. We wouldn’t dry our tears as quickly if we shed one now. Challenges bring upon motivation and determination upon ourselves to grow. And grow we did. But has the challenges ended? Certainly not. It bombards upon us as often as we take a leak in the toilet. Little do we know but we face challenges daily, small ones it may be. How bout the big ones? The ones which really sucks up the life of you. The ones which would take all your wits and every last drop of sweat to complete. These are the ones which has such a huge impact on ourselves that it changes the course of our life. Of course, we are unaware of such impacts because it is part of the challenge, to be unaware of such changes. Let’s take it to a simpler level. We, as humans have to face difficulties which have landed right at our feet. It may range from education to family problems. Some may find these challenges a bitch and is a freaking nuisance but some others, may find it…challenging.. or perhaps, a i-have-to-win kind of situation.

I’m going to relate this to problems of a relationship. Challenge, the relation, the person, the outcome. In a situation where love becomes the challenge, a thought if the relation works out comes into place. There are those that take such situations as challenges. They regard the pursuit as a challenge thus they put their all into that wild pursuit. It may seem like a ‘I want’ at the moment but truth be told its actually a ‘I must’ deep inside. These are the people who, instinctively take things for granted. These are those who have the desire to own but loses such desire when owns. These are the people that have no sense of appreciation of hard work. These are the people who for some reason find satisfaction just by knowing “I won”. Put these group of people together with those who really put their heart into whatever they do and later APPRECIATE the effort, would be a real torture to the latter. To put things easier, its an extreme selfish act to do so. Just imagine yourself being the trophy, WHICH is later thrown away. It sucks pretty bad. Next, imagine yourself being the one throwing. It should suck extremely bad if you know exactly what you’re doing. You’re tearing your completed answer sheet at the end of an examination. A dumb and reckless act. To set academic results as challenges, sports or games as challenges, would be alright. In fact, it would be good cause it drives the sense of determination. But to put someone you like or in some cases, love, as the challenge is THAT much absurd.

Moving on to dreams. Speaking of dreams, we instantly imagine our goals and our wants. Be rich, be happy, be with our family or to be at the top of the world. Everyone has their own dream. Stuff that they wish they have or wish they would have. Such is dreams of every human. Every part of a man which says the “ I want” is a dream partially. Well, then it goes on to the part where we say, “a dream will forever be a dream if you don’t make it happen”. This, I undoubtedly agree. Those who dream but only lay back taking neither initiatives nor actions to achieve such dreams will forever be a dreamer. Those who take that extra step, who do that extra much, would possibly not become dreamers anymore, but achievers. To those who have taken that extra step, my greatest respects. To those who have yet to take that extra step, I strongly recommend doing it the moment you are able to. Comicly, a light bulb appearing beside my mind shows me that the song dedicated to such people would be “If Tomorrow Never Comes by Ronan Keating”.

If Tomorrow Never Comes - Ronan Keating

Listen to this song, and take note of the last sentence of the song. Back onto the topic, I, for instance, have my dreams. I have taken few steps though not all to achieve such dreams but I positively I feel, at least I did so. Thus, I relate dreams once again to issues such as relationships. Take a time off reading my post thus far, take a minute or two and ask yourself “What is my dream in a relationship?”

*************

Done? What do you think of your answer? Had hesitations answering yourself? Whatever your dreams are, are you any step closer to it? If yes, I’ll say “great success!” if it’s a no, I’ll say “don’t worry, it’s never too late”. In a relationship, happiness might be the dream, love might be it, the person whom you love may be the dream as well. To say that someone is our dream is to say that person is at the end of my journey in heaven, that person is the achievement of our life. To set such a dream would be equivalent to making a statement of commitment. To step upon such commitment is not a shame but pride to do so. Walk upon it proudly.

Having said about challenges and dreams, I guess it all comes back to me now.

To fight or to chase

To compete for or to run after

To be victorious or to be successful

To be rewarded or to achieve

These have been running in circles in my mind for the past weeks. It has been a question yet a burden to me even up ‘til now. Thoughts put into it, no outcome satisfies me nor initiates any action. I’ve been wondering this and in fact I have been asking myself this question dozens of times,

“Am I going for the challenge? Or am I pursuing my dream?”

To be honest, I really do not know the answer to that. All I know is, I am tempted by such a challenge. I might possibly be up for it only for the challenge. And if that is true, I’d hate myself for it. I’d hate myself for being someone who likes challenges.

A friend of mine once said to me “All you ever care is about yourself”. No matter how I look at it, that sentence sips deeply into me which then only do I realise how selfish I am. Despite the things I do, it doesn’t show much because I’m still selfish in a way. If I am really taking this as just a challenge, I’m being a selfish fool. I will hate myself for the rest of my life for such a trophy is not for me to throw. I don’t want to.

I’ll cherish it for life knowing how to appreciate things that comes only once in a lifetime. I’ll care for it like it’s my last dollar. This is my word and I shall keep it. A dream to pursuit after is what I hope it is. For a want, would be better than a must. In this pursuit, if it is, I’ve taken my steps in fear of not being able to do so again. I have done things I never imagined myself being able to. But as a friend told me “If you are going for the inequitable, you need to be strong first to handle it”. This is because it will most likely have a big impact on yourself. It’s true that guys look all tough and cold on the outside, but actually guys are emotional freaks. They take small matters into account. They tend to think too much which later on causes themselves to have more emotional problems. Guys do have their soft spot at times, they are not always as cold as they seem. It is true that in order to achieve something we want especially when it’s a unilateral want, it requires more of the mind than the heart. If we let the heart do the thinking all of the time, we will most likely end up in another state of depression. We must allow our mind to make the decisions and actions if we want to make this pursuit an easier one. Most of us think using our hearts under certain emotional circumstances which causes most people to think of weird methods to release our stress or sadness.

Lastly, to Yang, ‘trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met’. This I tell you in hopes you know what I’m trying to do. I know you have been trying to get me to stop all this while already but I guess, I’m just too dumb cause I just don’t plan to stop. A challenge or a dream is for me to find out and ‘til I do, I guess I just can’t stop even if I want to.

Im being positive

2008-10-10T01:13:00.003+08:00

Its been awhile, since the last time i felt so happy.
Its beyond description now. After so long, finally..happiness beyond happy.
And the main reason is, honestly i don't know either. It just came, again. Sometimes i really wonder why..how come i am always feeling this happy at the times i least expect it. Really, some things just happens at the weirdest moments that make you feel like you're dreaming. When it happens, obviously you feel like your floating. I know happiness like this doesn't last long, but at the moment, its really sips into your soul and whatever happens around you, it seems so positive, seems like another of those 'omg really?' kinda situations. Well, i wonder when will this happiness go away. No clue, time is a bitch. It can drag or drop instantly. I'll go happify myself now.

Di-Tagged Oleh Jan

2008-09-29T10:11:00.003+08:00

The last person to tag u is:
- Obviously Jan

What relationship of u with him/her:
- Freaking enemies! With me around she is a possible victim of accident :D jkjk lol Friends lah

Your 5 impression towards her:
1. A very open-minded person.
2. Trusts people too much.
3. Too tall to stand beside me =(
4. Definitely pretty.
5. Listens and gives good advices regarding some problems =)

The most memorable thing that he/she has done to you:
- To have met each other. ^^

The most memorable words that he/she said to you:
- "Warren, can you fetch me to college tomorrow?" LOLOLOL

If he/she becomes your lover, you will:
- Become another character in Barbie.hahaha

If he/she becomes your enemy, you will:
- Say she is dam thin!

If he/she becomes your lover, he/she has to improve on?:
- Her tai-ness. If dis keeps up she'll likely to be the victim of skim cepat kaya.

If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is?:
- I talked til she got into a real accident?

The most desirable thing to do for him/her is?:
- Having enough human petrol to continue crapping so there's no awkward silence

The overall impression of him/her is?
- She's a bad person. ^^ I mean it, she is evil....not.( i hope) XD

How do you think the people around you will feel about you?:
- They will just be asking themselves this " why am i telling him so much?"

The character for yourself is?:
- Ah,,i really dunno.

On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?:
- Like to stress myself out easily.

The most ideal person you want to be is?:
- Warren Buffet. He 'tikam telur' every second aso his money cannot finish.

For the persons who care and like you, say something about them:
- If it weren't for them, obviously i'll be alone?

Ten people to tag:
1. Von
2. Yang
3. Kelvin
4. Aaron
5. Karyn ( sure wont do)
6. Ning
7. Howen
8. Zhi Xiang
9. WinSam
10. Peiying

Who is number 2 having relationship with?
- Honestly?i hope prophecy is strictly obeyed and he goes on with the ace.

Is number 3 a male or female?
- Strictly male. only gay a little.

If number 7 and number 10 be together would it be a good thing?
-Nah!!!cannot happen man thats a no no ad..

How about number 5 and number 8?
-OMG if dat happens its like the clash of titans ad! lolol

What is number 1 studying about?
-accounting.

When was the last time you had a chat with them?
1. Yesterday.
2. Yesterday
3. Yesterday.
4. Few days ago.
5. Quite long ad.
6. Awhile back.
7. Very long d lah
8. Rarely do.
9. Rarely do
10. Was it 2 days ago?

Is number 4 a single?
-yes and no.

Say something about number 2.
- If i were to talk bout him i might need another new post. So in short, he is complicated..and i mean it!

What About Now?

2008-09-09T20:51:00.004+08:00

Lately, a brief update.

=.= i shall get to the point which is.. I Cannot Concentrate In Class Anymore.

For God knows why..i really do not know how come i totally cant pay any attention in class. This is really really a big nuisance. I get into class, i sit, gone! My mine wonders off and i totally cant catch a thing thats been taught. SIGH...easily distracted lately. Too much to think lately. Like it has been said, im the epitome of laziness. But lately i think i got myself into a new category of epitome. Epitome of stress. Yeah, dog gone tired plus stress everyday. Doesn't contribute the slightest to a good performance in my studies neither does it in my "other" businesses. Reminding myself of the fact before Moral exam i was already saying " once this is over there would be totally no stress". Hell i think it just got worse then before. I guess i got myself into something i avoided for a while. And to think that my strong commitments would be a good thing i guess its acting more of a liability lately causing an extreme-superb emotional distress and mood swings. For those that see me everyday i am pretty sure you guys noticed. I am sometimes the noisiest yet sometimes a bloody lip-sealed monk. Though it happens in such, i really can't help it. It's not like i want to be so you see. I know you guys will just say " its whether you choose to or not cause its all your actions so it can be decided by you". Well, i'd like to think so but sadly it doesn't go that way. I'm a committed person, over committed perhaps. My strength and weakness. More like a weakness lately, i would put on the face which says " don't come near or i'll have you reaped" just because i think too far. Having massive thoughts of how, when, why , who and what. It all just started recently yet i'm already mentally torturing myself every now and then. For those that have received a taste of my emotional blast all of a sudden, for example, kelvin lim. My greatest apologies. Though you totally understand it yet every time i blast you, it's just gotta be so insulting.

Moving on to the next bloody-annoying-yet-i-still-acknowledge great 'prophecies' of mine. I've been gettin these " I feels" a lot. AND its 98% of the time a negative "i feel". Where has the optimistic me gone to. Maybe its more of a afraid-to-be-disappointed intuition. Since i've been hell traumatized in just few months of my life maybe i developed a self-defence mechanism which prevents me from lifting my hopes up high WHICH i freaking hate cause its totally ruining my sense of happiness. I can barely be happy bout anything lately, more cause theres nothing to be happy about lately except the fact i've did what they call "the MAN" thing but deep inside, i guess i know if i deserved it or not. Its not like i've succeeded anything, its just merely a heavy self-comfort from a brain wrecking, time consuming, pursuasive fighting, credit spamming, guts wrecking night. And a MAN does not lose his words when he is not supposed to. He speaks with guts and courage firmly, instead the person you guys think is so MAN did none of those. Neither did he do it in the way he always wanted to, he barely did anything at all. More like he only contributed to DIGI for slamming numbers.

As you can see, the negative-me is typing now. If not there wouldn't be such negative paragraphs of my recent updates. A positive-me would say " theres this small light of hope and i will do my best to lighten up the source of it" but no, the negative-me overwhelms the better side or more like the 'dreamers' side.

Now, im still confused with what i really want. And i think i have found the answer, me, being a person who likes to take on life challenges, have decided to take this challenge. I shall un-shy you, even if i have limited time left maybe. But if i do have my days here numbered then it shall be spent trying my best to make you feel as comfortable as possible around me. I'd had enough of it for four years. It wasn't good back then and neither is it now. Like i always say, help me help you. I can't do everything on myself. No man is an island..therefore i'll be waiting for you turn to grant me the small favour of helping yourself. The reason you're like this now i do not know. Nevertheless, i would still put my best effort and thought in trying to change you. I sound crazy and sudden i know but seeing you lately has reminded me so much of the past years where we were merely just people who communicate using written messages. I'm tired of it honestly and i'd like to have a change now onwards. I know facing me in reality is much of a chore to u..honestly is isn't easy for me either considering the fact i treat you in such back then. Still, im the male here and i do what i'm supposed to. I'd create the door for you. Tell me when you're ready to go through and i'd be there for you no matter how. We might be kids back then, might have been a mistake to you but to me i never thought of it as one. Back then you didn't acknowledge me. What about now? Don't keep running away now, it doesn't help at all to accomplish what i want. Just so you know, i'd take my chances with you. In brief, i'm having the crush i had upon you 4 years ago. No point hiding it any longer, enough people have realised. I'm walking this road which i stumbled upon before. This time i walk with better knowledge of whats around and whatever ending you provide me with i'd still be satisfied. I may not be the same as i was before, i've changed. For good or for worse is up to you to judge. Our history of beginnings may happen but i will not let the history of our endings occur again.

I take upon this path which i will not back down. I can't even if i want to. Cause of my strength and also my weakness. You can run, i'll chase. I wasn't given the chance to before. Now i am able to, i will. On a different note, regarding the sudden appearance at your doorstep, my apologies if i caused much trouble but thanks nonetheless for stepping out. Like i said, i'll un-shy you. Let me do what i couldn't before.

And oh yeah, Yang, thanks for allowing me to spam you credit. At the end of the day you're still the man.
*edited* Since requested and insisted, thanks entirely to Von. It is with your contribution the agent did not turn away.

p/s : i took the path which has the good and bad grass and whatever i see at the turn of the pathway is unknown yet im curious and i have the feeling..whatever it is, it'll help.

We are Men

2008-09-07T15:46:00.002+08:00

And therefore to my great dudes Su Yang and Kelvin Lim.
We VOW and therefore put forth our pelvics to thrust and make our night of 19th September a happy one no matter what happens.

We walk in and out of the hotel a happy man even if we were to be crowned Dungupa of the year.

We shall vow not to say BO TAT on the night and only say TAT no matter the circumstances.

We shall vow not to let ourselves go crazy and start dancing on tables or chairs.

We shall vow not to disappoint each another be it guy or girl.

We shall do what we think is right and not let guts shrink to the size of testicles on the night.

And lastly we vow, to put ourselves humbly before the girl we are with that night.

By honour, please leave your chestity vows upon my Cbox before the time comes and also repost this vow to show your true commitment.

:D

Bo Tat

2008-09-05T00:58:00.003+08:00

After a superb month plus of holding back everything..it was already at a stage where everyting would turn just right.
THEN, why must it come back =.=
Waited for so fucking long for this again r?this is FUCKING bo TAT!
and i thought i could stay that way for a pretty long while..shit man it came back this fast

And by the way fuck the previous post, its basicaly now..sum bloody tentacles sprouted out of nowhere from the bloody grass start having its sodomy torture when i took my first step onto the road =.=

i shall continue dis later =.= pissed..

*continues*

lemalah..sien..dis calls for super potong ness soon..and when everything turns back at you negatively.shit man its supposed to be the other way round lah now pula dis way keonkan fuk kao..i din wait for so long to get this again man..

Go or no go

2008-08-31T12:43:00.003+08:00

I see road..road very blur one..
Road leh got alot of grass grass one.
Suddenly leh i see the grass got yellow got green aso
Then i ma think wan to go anot lo
After that leh, i look other road,
i realise de
no other road liao
den i go think think awhile
i think hard one
i think soft one
then suddenly i decide i dowan walk the road de
so i ma sit down and act like kuai kia lo
then hor, suddenly the road i see leh
grass all very nice d
all neat and grass all good one
so i ma think again lo
den leh suddenly grass all got flower one also
grass got flower de meh?
but dis one very weird ma..
weird cause everytime got weird ting happen de..
then, then i ma happy abit lo
i try to see the road at the end go where
but i see canot
coz very blur..
mayb got good ting
but wat if no good ting le?
very dangerous ho
yea lo..
so now i think tiao lo..
wan go or dowan le?
if dowan go i sit hhere like sohai lo
if go i dunno end where got more sohai anot lo
hmmmm
me is confuse now
although got no road to choose
but still i dunno wan choose wat road
i sit here wait me die or i walk mayb no die ho
i wan continue think first..
ok i go think now

ps: I am from Penang Free School by the way :D

voices of your "okay" is fading away..i'd prefer it that way now

Temp

2008-08-26T11:30:00.003+08:00

Happiness in the morning..after a month long only 3 messages

Its better den nothing so no complains. At least i know you're alright already..i suppose though.

Gave me a smile for 3 messages long..Thankss

How i wish i'm given more time to tell you so many things i've been wanting to

Only if that moment comes, i hope i can still remember cause i doubt its anytime soon.

your voice saying "okay" is always repeating in my head..till it fades away then..

Happy Birthday DAD

2008-08-21T01:31:00.002+08:00

On a totally different note from my previous post :D

Happy Birthday to my father!!!!!its 21 rite..ok la shud be so please enjoy your birthday and don get any bad moods on ur birthday cause if u get ur period on ur birthday im the one to suffer :D
and regarding presents...so since u r not rely giving me much for pocket money u cant blame me for not giving u presents rite =)
so ok lah i think ill send u 3 bucks credit

since you have always taught me to be thrifty..so now to make you proud i send u 3 bucks..but depends i got credit not ok? he he well well ok lah if lets say i get to buy tings i get u sumtin la since im such a great son. i know u agree. thanks :D

And o yeah..Happy Birthday to Christ Tan also..make sure u don waste dis day.message evvery1 saying its ur bday and ask for presents ok?being humble wont get u anything so u mus HO EE LOK.

i am

2008-08-17T16:37:00.004+08:00

Despite the fact its been utterly hectic lately, having to grab books to college everyday, rush home with an extreme fatigue, still having to get to work with the upcoming due-ed law assignment which have been goddamn time occupying lately..not to mention that exams are around the corner, accounting =.= easy =.= in the aspect of time i ain't agreeing for now.

Im not gonna nerd-post in my blog talking all bout my study life which would cause Su Yang to just appear right in front of me saying " u remember the 50 pages case". no thank you im not joining that group at this time of life.

Despite all the crap that is bugging my daily schedules, i am still missing you..already that long a time for this to occur but for some reason ur stuck.to my head. A month i've been happy alright but a guy to have a period which causes emotional swings isn't exactly happy yet though. And im not sayin i bleed from my family genitals every 28 days or so. Its more like the heart is. Pathetically i may seem for having such a bump in my daily life just cause an incident of such happened before. Avoiding every cause of emotional breakdowns has just been like a chore for the past month.

Songs, faces, dresses have such a nostalgic effect on me and i can never forget that moment which i drifted of into a realistic dream having thought for a moment i'd have you.

A note of thanks to Yang for having to bear my periods for the past month. Though being that obnoxious i guess you're used to it.

Well, its not like i want to stay like this forever though, haunted still no matter how hard i distract myself from you. I'd like to know how you are at any time still, not to mention i didn't keep my word of changing your perception towards guys. Didn't have the chance to anyhow

Another emo post popping into my blog which further contaminates the happiness i m supposedly diving into recently but i think spitting out would be better than vomiting it.
Missing you , i am.

Ini Tag Itu Tag

2008-08-14T22:31:00.002+08:00

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Warren
2. ren(actually coz they pronounce it too fas)
3. -

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. warRen
2. waRren
3. bored

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My complexion..anyone is welcome to challenge that :D
2. Skinny arms
3. My big feet

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Too fat T.T
2. Big leg
3. my curly hair

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Chinese
2. Thai - recently
3. Japanese - recently

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. MY DAD
2. Snakes
3. reptiles

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Food
2. Definitely daily dosage of seasides
3. And daily dosage of milfs

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING NOW:
1. Shorts
2. Shirt
3. Bangles(thx to Ning)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. Leona Lewis
2. tak ada liao
3. -

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (RIGHT NOW):
1. Better in Time - Leona Lewis
2. Miss You - Westlife
3. Disturbia - Rihanna

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Trust
2. Fun
3. Happiness

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Somewhat absolutely attractive hair.
2. Seaside body
3. Innocent looking

( though it all just reminds me of the past)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Playin Final Fantasy 12
2. Investing in Be A Tycoon ( its a game btw)
3. Nothing less than sleeping :D

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Get my mind away from constant reminders of a certain someone
2. Rob a bank..desperately in need of money

3. Surprisingly..my law assignment

THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING/YOU’VE CONSIDERED:
1. Financial planner
2. Full-time investor ( this is the main one)
3. Pilot...though its long gone a dream

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. New Zealand
2. London
3. Japan ( guys u know why)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Become a billionaire
2. Go on an exhibition in a big luxurious ship
3. See the people i love smile

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY GUY:
1. I eat alot.
2. I need daily dosages of seasides
3. I don't go around grabbing guys unlike Kelvin

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE NOT STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. I don have mood swings every 28 days
2. I don need to be so careful of wat i wear everyday.
3. I barely care bout my appearance

FIVE PEOPLE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
1. Su Yang
2. Kelvin
3. My father
4. My mum
5. Chou Tien Tsai

This is morel like it =)

2008-07-30T01:12:00.002+08:00

Well, after retrying the personality test. Sumhow it turned out better :D but i really had slight changes with the answers only because 1 or 2 of it i am uncertain so dis time i went with the more obvious 1 and here it is..

You Are An ENTP

The Visionary

You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression.

You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything.

Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off.

You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments.

In love, you see everything as a grand adventure. You enjoy taking risks for love.

And if things don't work out, you're usually not too much worse for the wear!

You would make a great entrepreneur, marketing executive, or actor.

At work, you need a lot of freedom to pursue your own path and vision.

How you see yourself: Analytical, creative, and peaceful

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Detached, wishy-washy, and superficial

What's Your Personality Type?

HAO SIAO =.= dam untrue

2008-07-28T15:31:00.000+08:00

You Are An ESTP

The Doer

You are adventurous and risk taking. You act first, think second.

You love being the center of attention. Chances are you were the class clown.

Competitive, charming, and charismatic - you have your own code of honor.

You live a flexible life, bouncing between a series of activities that interest you.

In love, you are a master seducer... and quite manipulative when you want to be.

If someone loves you, you'll only believe their actions. Words don't mean a whole lot to you.

At work, you are a "people person." You're especially good at getting people to do what you want.

You would make a great salesperson, marketing director, or entrepreneur.

How you see yourself: Reasonable, proficient, and tough

How other people see you: Flaky, unrealistic, and untrustworthy

What's Your Personality Type?

Debate at INTI Nilai

2008-07-22T18:06:00.005+08:00

Sorry for the long and long absence. Was having the greatest time at INTI Nilai.

One word, to describe it..

Super-duper-fucking-hyper-fantastic-best-wonderful-great-scoping-arena.

Gosh!!Its darn nice over there. Though i have to mention we were there for the debate competition. Left Penang last Friday, on air-asia, whooohooo college so generous to sponsor us :D
A group of 14 people went including our lecturer advisor, Ms Kok and debate coach, Ms Irene. They are wonderful and steady lecturers man omg..And and not forgetting the rest of the team.
I'll begin with the two girls: Hui hui and Pei Yin.
And the guys : Aaron, Yang, Kelvin, Kin , Jien, Danesh, Yusoff, Daryl, Jay, me

So having 12 people going for the competition we had three different teams though from the same college.

Team 1: IICP 1
First speaker: Aaron
Second " : Me
Third " (BDSM man) : Yang
Reserve : Kel kel

For team 2, they shuffled their speakers so its uncertain...

Team 2 : IICP 2
First : Jay
Second : Yusoff
Third : Jien
Reserve: Danesh

And for team 3 im not too sure though..

Team 3 : IICP 3
First : Pei Yin
Second : Hui hui
Third : Daryl
Reserve: Kin

And therefore we march off to the competition with 'semangat yang berkobar-kobar'.

We reached Inti Nilai on a Friday afternoon, and headed to our designated-great-fantastica hotel(hostel) but its like a hotel anyways. Guys and girls different..of course T>T
Unfortunately, im unable to upload some pictures of the hostel but it is great that is for sure though we were given special rooms for guest thats why. :D
Got changed, settled our stuff and headed out for lunch.
Decided to try the cafeteria food. So, there was chicken rice, economy rice, vegetarian food, koay teow th'ng, and western food and freaking alot of others. Dammmm niceeeeee ahhhhhhhh

Having said that, we tried the economy rice, after paying everyone was basically saying " Fuck man why so cheap 1?"
My meal, SOTONG, a whole bunch of it, vegetables, and 2 eggs. RM4.
T_T
They rock man...halelujah if only its that price back in INTI penang.
Then, after the meal we had a last minute debate practice for about an hour or so.
And then, it was exploring time. First we head down to the bus stop to meet our long lost Jan Jan and to see her off cause she was coming back to Penang. Then we headed to the nearby shophouses to check it out and there it was.
Behold!!! POOL and a CC side by side. o man heaven O.O
So we pool-ed til the night and go back to the hotel after that.
Had enough fun there also and then slept early cause have to wake up at 6 30 the next day.

Day 2
Dressed in formal attire, we headed down to the venue where we are suppose to be debating at.
Quite a distance though from the hotel but this proves the size of the campus. Even had to take a fly over across the road to get there.
I'll skip to the debate part cause this part here we only were stressed out pressing our balls :D
okay...

First round,
IIUC4 against IICP1
Motion : This house believes that free condoms should be given to prisoners.
Result : Lost by 4 points

Second round,
IICP1 against IIUC7
Motion: This house believes that Israel should not give in to Hezbollah's demands.
Result : Lost by 1 miserable point.

Third round,
IIUC7 against IICP1 ( again =.=)
Motion: This house believes that foreign ownership should not take over key local industries.
Result : Lost by 1 point again.

Fourth round,
GIIC2 against IICP1
Motion: This house believes that the state should fun teenage abortion.
Result: LOST. AGAIN

Fucking hell..but nevermind, lesson learned and its worth it.

Spent the rest of the day enjoying ourselves only lah since we are quite sure we wont make it into the semi finals already.
And and, came out with a name for some chiqa from inti subang. Holi hell dam cun..

Day 3
Went over to the debate venue to check the results. Not too disappointed cause we already know
whats it gonna be =)
Watched the semi-final between ICSJ and IIUC. That chiqa can debate like a pro man holi crap..
And she loves chess :D inside joke btw
Well, she managed to advance into the finals but we had to leave though. Had to pack up to get ready to go home. Last i'll ever see her T.T but who cares. so darn far lol
So, home it is. Got on the plane and tata to KL.

O yeah did i mention that in INTI Nilai, every ten metres you would feel happy. o ma godd the chiqs there are overloaded like the information in internets man. holi fucking hell, even the hostel girls are of some standard dammmm

And the facilities there are great, bball courts, swimming pool, volleyball, football and lots more which we did not get a chance to check it out.

Wel..thats bout all there is to the trip. Besides missing the place so dam much, learned alot from it..might be doing it again when theres a chance ;D
Besides, the history lecture from Franc is great hahahhaa

p/s: Really considering moving down there after TAFE now and sorry for the absence of any pics again.will upload if possible.

and i repeat, quote Su Yang, 7 weeks of holidays and the best part had to come at the last 2 days..for me not for him though

True?

2008-07-11T12:52:00.001+08:00

What Warren Means

You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts.

You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.

You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.

You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.

You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Guilty

2008-07-08T15:23:00.003+08:00

My most humble and deepest APOLOGIES to the girl i accidentally burned when i was leaving UPR. It happened by accident and i know it is painful. If you happen to read this ( which is very unlikely) just know i am deeply sorry =(

I still feel damn guilty up till now because of that. Hope you forgive me..whoever you are.

p/s: The story below is entitled ' What I Did For Love' anyways.

Enjoy The Story

2008-07-08T13:57:00.002+08:00

This is an old story. I found it years ago. For some reason, i just searched for it again. And here it is. Its a goddamn nice story for your info and i really recommend you reading it. Take your time btw.

Part 1

June 17, 1999

My name is Mina Nam. I’m 19, still very young, but I am dying. Not right now but my life is slowly fading away as I’m writing my story. At this moment I’m sitting at ‘our’ spot. Mine and Eun Ji Won, the love of my life.

The sun is slowly beginning to set over the lake. I took a glance at my reflection in the water. My outside looks have changed drastically within the past few months, but the water reflected the true me. Inside I’m still the same person.

I have done and given so much for love but never once, have I received it back from Ji Won. There are times that I wanted to tell him everything that I’ve done for him and make him love me back. But I can’t.

Love is not selfish.

So I did what felt right. I keep giving Ji Won my love and I never asked for his love in return. Even though I’ll leave this world pretty soon, my love for him will still remain. My story begins when I first met Ji Won six years ago on this one fateful day. It all started out…

Part 2

October 31, 1993

“You better come back here you good for nothing brat!”

I covered my ears with my palms. That was my stepmother calling me. Her voice sounds murderous and I didn’t want to face her today. She had slapped and hit me too much already. I’m afraid I can’t take it anymore so I hid in my closet.

I peeked through the crack in my closet and saw my stepmom with a really pissed off look on her face. She was holding that stick that I’m always afraid of. I winced thinking about how much it would hurt if she hits me with it again.

I’m just thirteen and whoever said 13 was an unlucky number, they were right. My mom had died when I was just turning ten. Before she died she told me that I was the most beautiful girl in the world and how proud she was to be my mother. She said even though she’ll be gone, her love remains with me always.

Tears rolled down my cheeks. ‘If you love me mommy, how can you be so selfish to leave me?’ So now when I had turn 13 my dad had married Mok Young A, who is my stepmom today. She was a cold-hearted woman who tortured me all day. Any self-esteem I had for myself was shattered and I was living a nightmare.

My closet door suddenly opened.

“There you are you wicked girl!”

My stepmom started cussing at me as she pulled me out and threw me onto the floor. I began to tremble because I knew what was going to happen next.

*Whack whack whack.*

I cried out in pain but I knew that no one is going to hear my cries. I desperately began to gasp for air. My heart was aching again. I couldn’t breathe.

“Not again! Don’t you see how much you’re costing your father and me with your heart problems? If it wasn’t for all these medical bills we wouldn’t be so poor now!”

I had this heart condition where air would suddenly shut off and I couldn’t breathe. The doctors are trying to save me by giving me a respirator and pills, but they’re not sure how much longer I’ll be able to live. My dad (who was a pathetic excuse for a man) came in.

He looked down at me with sorrowful eyes. He held my stepmom’s arm lightly and said, “I think she had enough. You don’t want her to have another attack. Calm down and let’s have dinner.”

“That’s why I’m hitting her!” she yelled. “She got detention and stayed after school for an hour. She was supposed to be home to go buy food for dinner and make it. Your daughter is so evil. She wants me to starve or something!”

“I didn’t get detention. The teacher wanted to talk to me about—“

But I was cut off by the whack of my stepmom’s stick. I cried silently in pain and turned away. I didn’t want to look at her.

My dad said, “Well, dinner’s just going to be a little late today. Mina, say sorry to your mom.”

Despite the pain, I managed to say, “Sorry mom. Please forgive me.”

My dad handed me some money. “Here. Go buy food to make mee-yuk-gook tonight.” My stepmom’s temper simmered down a little as my dad lead her out of my room.

I picked up the money and headed for the store. Mr. Choi, the owner of Choi Food Market, shook his head as I walked in. He knew what kind of hell I was going through. I finished my shopping and checked out.

“That’ll be $3.49.”

“What?” I asked. “Umm…Mr. Choi. That’s impossible. With all this stuff it should be around $15.”

“I know Mina.” Mr. Choi gave me a sad smile. “The exact price is $14.32. Why don’t you keep the change for yourself?”

I opened my mouth in shock. “Mr. Choi…I..I can’t do that,” I said as I handed him 20.

He only took five. “No. Keep it. I know that stepmom of yours don’t give you any money.”

I looked up at Mr. Choi with tears in my eyes. Here he was, just a friend reaching out to me. I said thanks and headed for home.

Part 3

I decided to take a shortcut home but as I passed the alley, a hand pulled me in. I was knocked to the ground and a shadow hovered over me. I began to scream but the same hand covered my mouth.

“Shut up or I’ll kill you!”

I shut my mouth instantly. I didn’t want to die yet. In the moon’s reflection I got a good look of my attacker. It was a boy who looked a little bit older than me. His face and clothes were dirty but he had really good features so I could tell he was extremely good-looking. But this was not a time to think about such things.

He held a table knife at my throat and said, “Give me all your money or I’ll kill you.”

I panicked but I knew what to do. I used the move I wanted to use on my stepmom every time she pinned me down and hit me. I kicked him hard, right into his family jewels. He gasped and fell to the floor, dropping the knife. I picked up my groceries and ran.

I guess you can call me the dumbest person alive. I was afraid I had kicked the boy too hard and permanently damaged him. Besides, since my life is hell already, I didn’t want him to go through it too. So I turned back.

When I came back to the alley, the boy was still lying on the floor. He was moaning softly. I lifted him up gently. “Are you okay?” I asked. He shook his head no. “I’m sorry,” I said to him. I reached into my pocket and pulled the money Mr. Choi gave me. “If you need money, then here. All I have is ten dollars.”

I placed the money in his hand and walked away. He looked at me with this weird expression that I couldn’t read. I picked up my groceries and this time I left without turning back. I could tell the boy was watching me as I was walking away…

Part 4

Ji Won stared at the girl who had just walked away.

‘She must be the nicest or dumbest person in this world,’ he thought.

He began to stand up but had to use the wall for balance. That girl had kicked him a little too hard. Ji Won had just run away from home again. He had run away so many times that the alley was his second home. When he ran away he always stole his parents’ money.

They were the richest people in all of Hawaii but they were also the most messed up family. His dad would have a lot of women with him and would betray a friend if it would bring him money.

His mom, on the other hand, was an exact duplicate of his dad. She always had these young men around her and spent money like crazy. His parents were divorced and lived on opposite ends of Hawaii.

‘Bitch and bastard,’ thought Ji Won.

When he ran away this time, he didn’t have the chance to steal any money from his dad. So he had no choice but to rob somebody. When he saw the young girl walking out of the store, she seemed to be the perfect target. But things didn’t turn out as planned.

Ji Won kept wondering why the girl gave him the money even though he could have killed her. Ji Won knew he couldn’t take the money because she was the first person in his messed up life that was nice to him because she wanted to be, not because she wanted something from him. He wanted to give the money back.

When he gained some of his strength back, he began to chase her…

Part 5

When I came home, I was greeted by the usual words. ‘Ugly wretch, wicked girl, freeloader, etc.’ but luckily I made it through dinner fine. When dinner ended, my parents went to sleep leaving me with the dishes. I cleaned the table and washed the dishes.

I also took out the trash and then suddenly I felt someone grab me from behind. My attacker turned me around to face him. It was the same boy I met in the alley. I began to panic.

“I gave you all my money already! What more do you want from me?”

He raised a finger to his lips and tried to shush me. I felt one of my attacks coming on. I started to hyperventilate and couldn’t breathe. I was beginning to black out.

Ji Won looked at the girl who looked like she was going to die.

“Oh my God! Are you okay?”

This time it was the girl’s turn to shake her head no. Then she collapsed in his arms. Ji Won didn’t know what to do but he had to save her life. He began to give her mouth to mouth.

“Come on,” he whispered to her. “Breathe. Don’t die on me.”

After a while she began coughing and opened her eyes.

I opened my eyes and saw a blurry object heading towards me. Then I felt something soft pressing against my lips and I felt a gust of air. Then I realized the boy was giving me air. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I blushed and gently pushed him away.

“Thank you for saving me. I’m okay now.”

The boy turned slightly red. “Uhh…you’re welcome. You kinda scared me there.”

“Sorry about that. Well, what is it that you want from me?”

“Here.” He handed me back the same ten dollars I had given him. I looked up at him.

“No, it’s okay. Keep it. I think you need it or you wouldn’t have tried to rob me.”

He shook his head. “No. I just wanted to borrow it only. I don’t take charity. Well, goodbye.”

Just as he walked away, I heard his stomach grumble. I bit my tongue so I wouldn’t laugh. Since he didn’t take charity, I said, “Um, hey. I just made some food and I don’t know if it’s good or not. I need a guinea pig because I don’t want to serve it to my parents if it isn’t and besides, you did save my life.

Ji Won looked at her. ‘Why is she being so nice to me?’ he thought. He knew she was just saying that because she heard him say he doesn’t want charity. Ji Won’s stomach was growling like crazy. He hasn’t eaten for 2 days already and the mention of food was killing him.

“Uh, okay. I guess I’ll be your guinea pig since I have nothing to do.”

He studied her face as she smiled at him. ‘She’s pretty,’ he thought as he smiled back.

Part 6

I let the boy wait outside as I got some of the leftover mee-yuk-gook for him. He finished it in less than a minute. Then he leaned back and sighed. Out of nowhere, he let out a burp. I had to giggle. He looked at me and smiled.

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay.”

I hesitated before I asked him the next question. “Umm…so what’s your name?” He glanced at me and then stared at the ground. I could tell he was debating to tell me his real name or not. I didn’t want him to feel obligated to telling me his name. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Ji Won looked at her surprised. “No! It isn’t that!” he yelled. She stared back at him surprised too. Then he lowered his voice. “I’m sorry. Please don’t misunderstand.”

She nodded her head slowly and Ji Won can tell that she was confused. Ji Won felt that he could trust her and he wanted her to be his friend.

“My name is Eun Ji Won and you are?”

“Nam Mi-Na, but call me Mina. It’s easier to remember.”

Then she gave him the sweetest smile. Ji Won felt his heart beat a little faster when she smiled at him. He blushed and looks away.

“So uh, how old are you?”

“13,” she replied. “And you Ji Wonee?”

He smiled when she called him that. “I’m 15,” he said turning back to look at her.

“15?” I asked in disbelief.

Ji Won nodded.

“Where are your parents oppa? You’re too young to be living in the streets.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I can take care of myself.” I gave him a doubting look because he was trying to pull that tough guy act on me. “It’s okay though,” he told me. “I have a family. It’s just that things are bad at home so I’m just getting away from it for a while.”

‘So he ran away,’ I figured out.

I could tell that Ji Won was a good person. “Do you have a place to stay tonight?” He shook his head. “How about staying in my room then,” I offered.

Ji Won couldn’t believe his ears. He stared at Mina. ‘Did she just offer him a place to stay?’

“Ji Won?” Mina asked as she waved a hand in front of his face. “Are you okay?”

Ji Won shook his head and snapped out of it. She placed her hand on his knee. “Oppa, I asked if you want to stay in my room for tonight?”

Ji Won was so touched that he felt his heartache. No one had ever cared about him so much but he didn’t want to feel as though he owed her. “No thanks.”

Mina looked at him with her big sad eyes. “Please oppa? I’m afraid of the dark.” Ji Won smiled. He knew she was lying so he would say yes. For the first time in his life, Ji Won felt warm inside because now he is wanted. He let out a sigh.

“Aigo Mina, okay. You talked me into it. But just for tonight though.”

She giggled and nodded.

“Okay.”

Part 7

Silently, I led Ji Won into my room. My room was small and luckily, it was far away from my parents so they can’t hear much. I let Ji Won have the bed while I take the floor. ‘Damn,’ I thought. ‘Why does the floor have to be so cold and hard?’

Ji Won stared down at Mina who was trying to sleep on the cold stone floor. He picked her up easily and lifted her onto the bed.

“Oppa? What are you doing?” I whispered as my eyes grew wide.

“Do you trust me?” he asked.

I nodded my head slowly.

“Good,” he said. “This bed is small but it’ll fit both of us.”

My eyes grew wider at what Ji Won had just said. But I had just told him that I trust him. I couldn’t take my words back so I had no choice but to sleep with him. We both got in my bed and slept side-by-side. I was so nervous, I couldn’t sleep. Ji Won, on the other hand, had no problem. He fell asleep instantly.

I turned my head over to look at him. His face was so innocent like an angel when he was sleeping. Who would have thought he was such a devil when he’s awake and moving?

An hour had passed and it was 3’ in the morning. I still couldn’t sleep. Suddenly something weird happen. Ji Won turned his entire body around and did a 360, kicking me.

“Ow!” I cried out but covered my mouth so my parents wouldn’t hear me. When he was done, he had this happy look on his face.

At first I thought he was just playing with me but he really did do a 360 in his sleep. Suddenly he reached over and held me tight. My entire body went tense and rigid. I could feel Ji Won’s light breathing on my neck.

I don’t know why but now that Ji Won was this close (practically laying on top of me) made me feel better. It’s probably cause I’ve never been this close to a person in a long time. Soon I began to fall asleep too…

Part 8

November 1, 1993

Ji Won opened his eyes and found himself laying partially on Mina’s body. He blushed and slowly moved away from her. Then he just lay near her watching her sleep.

Suddenly it caught his eyes. The sleeves and pant legs of her pajamas were lifted up and he got a good look at her arms and legs. Dark purple bruises cover her entire body. There were several scars on her legs and arms too. Red lines run across her legs and it made Ji Won wince because it looked so painful.

He didn’t want to disturb Mina but he was really curious. She turned over and Ji Won lifted the back of her shirt. It was even worse than her legs. Ji Won opened his mouth lightly in shock and touched her bare back delicately, fearing that he might hurt her. Mina began to stir.

I rubbed my eyes and sat up. I saw Ji Won looking at me with this sad expression on his face. “What’s wrong oppa?” I asked.

“Who did this to you?”

Then he lifted the sleeve of my shirt. I opened my mouth in shock. I tried to hide it but I couldn’t believe he saw my bruises.

As I tried to answer him, I heard my stepmom’s footsteps heading towards my room. “Oppa!” I yelled, turning back to Ji Won, who was rubbing my bruises. “You have to get out of here! My mom is coming!”

Ji Won looked at me surprised but I opened my window for him to climb out. “Climb down this tree. Goodbye Ji Wonee,” I said to him with tears in my eyes.

Ji Won remained silent the whole time as he left her room. But he didn’t leave though. He sat on the branch of her tree and looked through her window. He couldn’t hear what Mina and her mom were talking about but he saw it.

He saw Mina’s mom bring out a small wooden stick and whack Mina with it several times. Ji Won couldn’t take it anymore. He busted back into Mina’s room.

Part 9

I looked up at my stepmother in pain. “I’m sorry mom. I didn’t know we’re supposed to have guests today.”

She glared at me with cold hatred in her eyes. “Mr. Eun, of the Eun Hotel Empire all over Hawaii, is coming to visit us. Your father might get a promotion if we make a good impression! You’re supposed to be awake half an hour ago to prepare all of us tea! Now Mr. Eun is down there expecting tea! What am I supposed to do now huh?”

My stepmom began to breathe rapidly as her anger increased. I saw her raise that stick of hers again. I curled myself up hoping the pain would lessen but I know it wouldn’t so I prepared myself for the strike…

Ji Won caught the stick just before it would hit Mina. Mina’s mother stared at Ji Won in surprise. Mina opened her eyes and stared at Ji Won in shock. He looked down at her.

“Mina, are you okay?”

“Ji Won!” I screamed. “What are you doing here?”

Ji Won looked back at me. “I came to save you from this evil bitch.”

My stepmom twisted her face in hate. “I knew you were trouble all this time Mina. How dare you bring this boy home? Wait until I tell your father about this!” Ji Won grabbed my stepmom’s arm to stop her.

“You do that and I’ll have you fired!”

I stared at Ji Won dumbfounded. ‘What is he talking about?’

“What are you talking about you juvenile delinquent?!” snapped my stepmom.

“I mean,” said Ji Won glaring at her. “That you’re having tea with my father right now and I’ll get you and your husband fired if you hit Mina one more time.”

I look at Ji Won surprised. ‘Ji Won is the heir of the Eun Hotel Empire? His family is the richest in all of Hawaii!’

My stepmom looked at Ji Won doubtfully. “If you’re his son, then how come you’re so filthy?”

Ji Won gave her a smirk. “I know you want proof. How about all of us go down there to talk to my dad?”

My stepmom looked at him and thought, ‘This is the only way for real evidence. He might get us a promotion.’ Then she said, “Come on then, boy. Let’s go.”

Part 10

All three of us came downstairs together. Ji Won had to help me down because my legs were too weak to support me. Ji Won helped me sit on the couch and he faced the strange man before me. Mr. Eun glared at Ji Won.

“Hi dad,” said Ji Won.

“Where the hell have you been Ji Won?” shouted Mr. Eun.

My family just watched them yell at each other. Ji Won shrugged his shoulders. “Around.” It made Mr. Eun really mad but he never hits Ji Won. He continued yelling. Ji Won didn’t really listen and after a while he cut his dad off.

“Look dad, shut up about it already and we’ll talk about it at home.”

‘Dang,’ I thought. ‘I could never talk to my parents like that.’

Mr. Eun shuts up. “Okay son, we’ll talk about it at home.”

Then Ji Won gestured his hand at my entire family. “The Nams were nice enough to let me stay at their house. You owe them dad.”

Mr. Eun nodded. “Fine. Joon and Young A, you two just got a raise.”

My stepmom got so excited. “Thank you Mr. Eun!”

“Come on Ji Won,” said Mr. Eun. “Let’s go home and have that talk.”

Ji Won brushed his dad’s hand ff his shoulder. “Later dad. I’ll be home in an hour.” His father glared at him. Ji Won glared back. “I said one hour.”

Mr. Eun knew Ji Won was stubborn. So he agreed. “Fine then. One hour.”

After Mr. Eun left Ji Won talked to my parents. “Listen here,” he said as he sat down next to me. “I can get you hired and fired just like that.” And he snapped his fingers.

“We know, we know,” said my stepmom sweetly, pouring Ji Won some tea.

Ji Won didn’t drink it. “All I want is for you two to not touch Mina anymore. If I see another bruise on her, you know the consequences.” Ji Won held my hand the entire time he spoke with my parents. I felt a strange warmth going through me and I knew that right then and there I was falling in love with Eun Ji Won.

My dad remained quiet while my stepmother talked. “Of course Ji Won.”

Ji Won rolled his eyes. “Okay, and I’ll make sure you keep your promise.” Then Ji Won turned to face me. “Come on, let’s go.”

“What?” I asked confused.

“Go to my house with me.”

“Go go!” said my stepmom pushing me towards Ji Won. “Have fun kids and stay out as long as you like.” I knew my stepmom was really ticked off but she was playing it off pretty well.

Part 11

Ji Won continued holding my hand and never once did he let it go. The walk to his house took us 15 minutes and I was enjoying every minute of it. When we reached his house, Ji Won let out a sigh.

“Mina,” he said softly. “Just stay quiet and let me do the talking okay?”

I nodded my head and we entered his house. His house was huge! I felt as though I’m a peasant walking through a castle. He even had a few maids and butlers who attended us.

Ji Won led me to his room. It was nice and clean but there were a lot of holes all around his walls. I sat down on his bed as he went into the bathroom to take a quick shower. When he was done, he came out and sat next to me, holding my hand. I really am in love.

“Ji Won, how come your walls have a lot of holes?”

He shrugged his shoulders and I massaged it for him. As he relaxed, he answered me. “Oh, it’s cause I fight with my parents a lot so I take it out on the walls.” Judging by the holes, I can tell that he was really angry every time he made one.

“Come on,” he said. He lifted me up on his back and gave me a piggyback ride downstairs. He smelled so good now that he’s clean and fresh.

His dad was waiting for him in the den. I waited outside while Ji Won came into face his dad. Ji Won came in, uninterested in what his dad had to say. “What is it dad?”

“Ji Won, son…this is getting to be very tiring. Every few weeks you would run away, leaving me and your mother worrying about you.”

Ji Won smirked. “Sure you’re worried. That’s why you’re out with those hoes and mom’s out with those morons. It’s because I’m your only son. You’re just scared that when grandpa passes away he won’t put our family on the will.”

His father got angry. “Well do you want it to end up on your uncle’s side?” Ji Won gave his dad a look that showed he didn’t care. His dad continued talking. “Since I managed to have a son and my brother have no kids, I have the advantage. Son, listen to me. You know you’re my heir. All my wealth will be pass down to you.”

Ji Won looked at his dad disgusted. “All you care about is money! You don’t care about me!” he yelled as he stormed out of the den. Ji Won slammed the door open and grabbed my hand.

“Come on, let’s go.”

Part 12

I was confused and didn’t know what had happened. Ji Won held my hand and took me to the beach near his house. On the sand there were these 2 huge rocks. Ji Won led me over there. He lifted me up and we sat side by side. We remained silent until Ji Won took a deep breath of the ocean air.

“I love this place, don’t you?” he said to me smiling.

I returned his smile and held onto his hand tighter. “Ji Won, what’s wrong?” Ji Won avoided my eyes.

“Nothing.”

I turned his chin to face me. “Come on, you know you can tell me.”

He nodded.

“It’s my dad and this stupid feud he has with my uncle. They’re fighting over who will get the larger part in my grandpa’s will.”

“Oh…” I said softly.

“Isn’t it stupid?” he asked laughing. “My grandpa’s not even dead yet!”

I understood what was bothering him. So I didn’t say anything because I know he doesn’t want me to worry about it. He threw a rock into the ocean and it skipped three times.

“Perfect,” he said.

“Why is it perfect?” I asked.

“Age ain’t nothing but a number right?” he asked me, changing the subject. I thought about it for a while and nodded.

“Since I’m older than you by two years, that makes me your oppa,” Ji Won said to me.

“Yup,” I answered, smiling.

Ji Won smiled back. “I love you….”

I felt my heart my heart filled with a bubble of love but then Ji Won continued talking..”as a dongsang.” My bubble bursted. This was not what I had expected him to say.

I stared at Ji Won with wide eyes. I knew it was pretty forward of me but I had to ask. “Y…your….dongsang?” I managed to stutter out. Ji Won looked back at me with his puppyish eyes and smiled. He nodded his head gently. Have I been reading all his signs wrong?

“So what do you say?” he asked. “Want to be my dongsang?” Even though it was breaking my heart, I had no choice but to agree. I nodded.

“Yes, I want to be your dongsang oppa.”

“Good,” he said.

Ji Won nodded and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a small silver knife. I stared at him with wide eyes.

“Ji Won, what are you going to do with that knife?”

He asked, “Do you trust me Mina?”

I nodded my head without hesitation. I trusted Ji Won with my whole heart. He smiled at me. “Good. Lower the back of your shirt.” Ji Won pulled the back of my shirt down. Then he used that knife to cut me.

“Ow!” I screamed in pain but he continued anyways. He carved a small ‘E’ onto my shoulder blade. My back was bleeding and he bandaged it for me.

Then he handed the knife to me. “Here. Engrave your initial ‘M’ too cuz I don’t want to use the same last name as your mom.” My hand trembled as I held the knife. I didn’t want to hurt Ji Won.

“Go ahead. Don’t worry, I can stand the pain.”

I engraved an ‘M’ onto Ji Won’s back. I was surprised because he didn’t let a tear drop or cry out in pain. I bandaged him and he acted as if nothing had happen. When it was over, he held me close.

I held onto Ji Won tightly as if he was going to leave me. I know he only thinks of me as his little dongsang but it feels nice holding him like this.

As Ji Won held onto Mina, his smiling face instantly turned sad. He wanted to say ‘Mina, I love you as a girlfriend’ so she would be his forever but he couldn’t. He wasn’t the type to admit his feelings.

So he figured the scarring was not an engravement of his brotherly love to Mina, but his promised symbol as a soulmate to her forever…

Part 13

Years had pass and I’m still with Ji Won. I didn’t think it was possible but I grew more and more in love with Ji Won everyday. We would do a lot of stuff together and we never had any fights. We argue, but it never came to the point where we would get really mad at each other and he usually let me have it my way.

Kang Sung Hoon was Ji Won’s other friend and he hangs out with us a lot too. Sung Hoon is a little older than me and is really nice. He has this really cute smile that when he smiles, you can’t help but smile back. I called him ‘bang geul ee.’ His family life also isn’t good. His dad is a drunk and his mom had passed away when he was young. So usually it was the three of us together.

My home life is a lot better thanks to Ji Won. My stepmom didn’t dare to touch me anymore and it’s still the same between me and my dad. We don’t talk much. Ji Won’s parents like me a lot too. It’s because when they tell Ji Won to do something and he wouldn’t do it. They would come to me. I’m kind of like their pawn. Life was heaven for me until it completely shattered on day.

It started out with good news but who would have known it would end up in tragedy?

June 15, 1996

My stepmom and dad came home one day from visiting the Euns. “Guess what?” my stepmom told me excitedly.

“What?” I asked calmly.

“The Euns are planning a wedding for you and Ji Won!”

I sat down because my knees gave out. This news hit me with total surprise but I was so happy to hear it because I’m so in love with Ji Won. “Really?” I asked excitedly. “How did this happened?”

“Mr. Eun wanted Ji Won to get married and he figured you’re the girl he should marry.”

“What did Ji Won say?” I had to ask. I didn’t want him to be forced into this.

“Of course he agreed,” she answered.

My breathing increased so I took out my respirator. After I calmed down, my stepmom took me into her room and told me all about the arrangements.

Meanwhile back at the Eun mansion…

“Just because you’re making this wedding for me and Mina doesn’t mean I owe you anything!” Ji Won yelled angrily at his dad.

Mr. Eun grabbed Ji Won by the collar of his shirt. “Ji Won! You listen to me. Once you and Mina get married, your grandpa will give you all of his businesses. Sharing part of it with your dad isn’t asking for much is it?”

Ji Won pushed his dad away. He began to laugh. “The only two people grandpa will give the businesses to is me or uncle. He won’t give it to you because you’ll spend it all on those whores! I bet all your money is gone now.”

It was true. Mr. Eun was in serious debt and he needed Ji Won to get married because Ji Won’s grandpa was going to give Ji Won his inheritance once he gets married. Ji Won had just turned 18 and his dad had planned the marriage months ahead. His dad got on his knees.

“Please son. Please do it for me.”

Ji Won rolled his eyes. “You’re so pathetic dad.” He sighed. Living with Mina taught him compassion and sympathy for people. “I’ll see what I can do dad.”

He went into his room. Just then his cellular phone rang. He picked it up, thinking it was Mina. Using his sexy voice, he whispered, “Hi Mina.”

A weird high-pitched giggle came from the other end of the line.

“Ooh…”said the voice. “Hi to you too sexy.”

Ji Won rolled his eyes. “Oh shut up Sung Hoon.”

Using his real voice, Sung Hoon began to laugh out loud. “Gross hyung! That’s how you talk to Mina? Ew! It gives me the chills!”

“Hey Sung Hoon,” said Ji Won seriously. “Is everything set and ready to go?”

“Yeah hyung,” said Sung Hoon.

“Good,” said Ji Won, smiling. “Meet me at the docks tonight. From there we can sail to the mainland airport and get away from Hawaii to start a new life in Korea.”

“Yeah,” said Sung Hoon. “But did you tell Mina about it?”

“No,” answered Ji Won, sighing. “I’m afraid she won’t leave her family. I’m planning to just kidnap her and take her along. It’s easier that way and no hassle.”

“Right,” said Sung Hoon. “At least the three of us will still be together.”

“Yeah,” said Ji Won. “Meet you in an hour. Get everything ready. I got our money too.”

“Okay,” replied Sung Hoon.

“Bye.” Ji Won clicked off his phone. Ji Won’s dad didn’t know it but his grandpa had given him $10 million in advance, along with hotel ownerships in Korea and Hawaii as his wedding gift. He planned to leave his dad $5 million and live off the rest with Mina and Sung Hoon.

He smiled thinking about how he would get away from everything and just be with the one he loved the most, Mina.

Part 14

Back at home I was so excited I couldn’t sleep. I know I was still young to be thinking about marriage but I know Ji Won is the only guy for me. I held my teddy bear close as thoughts of Ji Won drifted me to sleep.

It was midnight now. Ji Won snuck out of his house quietly without making a noise. He carried his backpack full of money on his back. He planned to go to Mina’s house to grab her and leave. Then it would be just him, Mina, and Sung Hoon leaving together. He was almost to Mina’s house when he realized that he was being followed.

It was his uncle’s men. They came to get rid of him. Ji Won was smart. He knew the streets too well. He made it through the alley and those men end up losing him. But when Ji Won reached Mina’s house, about 10 men had surrounded her house.

They all saw him approaching. Ji Won began to run as they chased him. He made it to the dock. He saw Sung Hoon on the boat.

“Hyung! Hurry! The boat is leaving!”

Ji Won threw his bag onto the boat first and made a high jump. He landed safely onto the boat. His uncle’s men couldn’t chase him anymore. Ji Won and Sung Hoon started cheering until Ji Won realized what was missing. Mina. He had left her. Ji Won fell to his knees.

“What’s wrong?” asked Sung Hoon.

“Mina! We left her! We have to go back!” yelled Ji Won.

Sung Hoon opened his mouth in shock because he just realized it too. Then he shook his head sadly. “We can’t. If we go back, we’ll just get killed and we’ll be putting Mina’s life in danger too.”

Ji Won moved away from Sung Hoon, knowing that the darkness will cover his face. And for the first time in his life, Ji Won cried.

Part 15

I woke up the next morning with this strange feeling inside me. I don’t know why but I find it disturbing. Then I remembered that Ji Won and I are going to get married soon, it subsided.

When I went downstairs, my stepmom was holding that wooden stick I haven’t seen in years. I began to panic. She whacked me with it. I fell down surprised.

“Where’s Ji Won?” she screamed at me.

I was so confused and surprised I didn’t know what she was talking about. She kept hitting me and telling me to answer her. But how can I answer when I don’t even know myself? Then something unusual happened. My dad grabbed the stick away from my stepmom.

“Stop hitting her! Can’t you tell that she can’t think straight through all that pain?”

My stepmom was shocked and she kept her mouth shut because my dad never did that to her before. “Mina,” my dad said to me, holding my hand. “Ji Won ran away from home again. He’s no longer in Hawaii and the wedding’s canceled.”

“He left?” I asked blankly.

My dad nodded his head sadly. “How can he leave me?” I asked standing up. My stepmom’s next words hit me hard and cold like ice.

“He probably left because he didn’t want to marry you.”

I sunk to my knees and fell to the floor. I began to sob to myself. My parents left the room, leaving me alone. ‘How can you leave me, Ji Won? Were all those promises of taking care of me lies?’

I loved Ji Won so much. All I ever wanted is to be with him, even if he did only consider me as a dongsang. I needed to know why he left. Being with him all this time, I knew where he went.

I’ll search all of Korea if I had to…

One year later…

During this year, my life of hell had return. I managed to save up enough money for a ticket to Korea and money to spend. I had to work odd hours so my stepmom wouldn’t find out or she’ll take the money from me. I also had to sell some of Ji Won’s gifts to me.

He was a really generous oppa who would buy me a lot of expensive clothes, jewelry, perfume, and just about anything that I wanted. I figured he wouldn’t mind because they’re just material possessions. They were a big help because I managed to trade them in for a lot of money.

July 24, 1997

I finally had enough money to leave. It took me a while to go because I knew chances are low of finding Ji Won right away. I needed extra money for my search and I had to pay double for a fake I.D. You could say that I have almost everything planned out. I got a pretty good amount so I planned on leaving today.

It’s been a little over a year since Ji Won left me with no reason or explanation. I’ve gotten so much thinner because I couldn’t eat or sleep and I miss him so much. The problem I still had facing me were my parents. I know they were not going to let me leave.

I was only 17. Damn. Still a minor. This year had been total hell for me and I can’t stand another year of it. I had to leave and I had a plan. I was going to fake my death.

It was all so perfect. My family had to go out to a luau with Mr. Eun. He still keeps in touch with us. I guess it’s because he thinks I might know where Ji Won is. Truth is, I have no idea except I know Ji Won’s somewhere in Korea.

I planned to fake a drowning. Because of my heart failure, it helped me close off my air circulation for up to 4 minutes. This time I am using it to let my family think that I have drowned and the tides drifted my body to sea so I will never be found…

But before I go I had to say goodbye to my father. I hugged him hard. He looked at me surprised.

“What was that for?” he asked.

I shook my head. “It wasn’t for anything dad. I did it because I love you.”

My dad had tears in his eyes. “I’m so sorry Mina. I’m so worthless as your father.”

“No you’re not but you have to do what’s right dad. Don’t let anyone stop you and stop putting yourself down.”

He nodded his head. I hugged him for the last time.

“I’m going for a swim okay?”

He nodded his head and watched me head toward the ocean. The plan went perfect. I stayed underwater for a while and swam myself to the other side of the beach where they couldn’t see me.

All my belongings were there. I got on the dock and sailed to the mainland airport leaving Hawaii forever…

Part 16

[Seoul, Korea]

July 26, 1997

Ji Won traced the ‘M’ scar on his back. ‘Damn,’ he thought. ‘I miss Mina so much.’ He sent out one of his men to retrieve news about her and if they could, get her here to him in Korea.

Ji Won had it all. Money and power. The only thing that was missing was Mina. So much had happened to Ji Won as he remembered back.

Ji Won and Sung Hoon made it to Seoul, Korea. With Ji Won’s leadership skills and Sung Hoon’s smooth talking, they end up getting a lot of businesses and putting others of out business. Money was not enough for Ji Won. He needed power so he created Sechs Kies, where he was the leader and Sung Hoon was his 2nd-in command.

He and Sung Hoon managed to eliminate the group Quiksilver on their own and gained the respect and loyalty of the two members Kim Jae Duc and Lee Jae Jin.

Along the way, they found Ko Ji Yong and Jang Su Won wandering the streets. Ji Yong proved to be a genius and Su Won was handy in finding information.

Ji Won knew they were enough. They had hundreds of men under them but Sechskies were the main leaders with Ji Won as the head. They committed a lot of crimes but no evidence was ever found to convict them.

Just then there was a knock on his door, interrupting his thoughts.

“Come in,” said Ji Won.

Jang Su Won came in. “I have news for you, boss,” he said.

“Well what is it? What did you find out about Mina?” Ji Won asked.

Sun Won looked down and hesitated to reply. “I’m afraid it’s bad news.”

Those words made Ji Won panic. “Jang Su Won, you answer me now!” yelled Ji Won with rage.

Ji Won’s yell scared Su Won so he blurted it out. “Mina Nam is dead. She drowned while she was swimming in the ocean. Her body has not been found and is still missing.”

Ji Won fell back in his seat in shock. ‘Mina’s dead? No, anyone but Mina,’ he thought. Su Won knew it was a good time to leave so he left Ji Won in his office.

“Mina!”

Ji Won screamed out of his window in pain. His cries echoed throughout the city of Seoul.

Part 17

I finally made it to Chejudo, Korea. I didn’t know where to look for Ji Won so anywhere was fine. I was never a lucky person. I couldn’t find any signs of Ji Won there so I traveled to Inchun City.

My search for Ji Won continued for another year. During that time I had traveled to many cities like Guam, Pusan, etc. It must have been a gift from God because one day my search was over…

November 21, 1998

I had just finish my overtime shift at the Nam Hotel. It was pretty ironic because my whole family spent their lives working for hotels and here is the biggest one in all of Seoul with our family name. I went into the worker’s lounge to take a break and pour myself some tea. I sat down and read the headlines.

‘Sechskies are to open a conference broadcasting live on Channel 6 today’

I rolled my eyes. Not them again. They were the notorious mafia lead by Matthew Eun. I shuddered. I can’t believe the leader has the same last name as my beloved Ji Won.

Actually 6kies was composed of 6 leaders. They committed a lot of crimes and were always challenging the authorities. They had a lot of power and no one could take their pictures without their consent but a lot of people know what they look like. I didn’t care. I was too busy looking for Ji Won to notice them.

A worker with me named So Kyung Hee came in. “Hey,” she said, patting me lightly on the knee. “On break?” I took a sip and nodded. “Me too,” she said smiling.

I smiled back at her. Kyung Hee was actually one of the nicest people at the hotel. Most of them were cold and just worried about how much tips they can get.

Kyung Hee picked up the TV remote and turned to Channel 6. “Hey Mina, there’s supposed to be showing 6kies today. Wonder what they look like.”

I nodded and watched with her. When the clock struck 9, I felt my heart had stopped and it was not from my heart failure either. I stared at the face that was giving a cocky smile to the camera. Ji Won. Slowly the camera pulled out revealing the other 5 members.

I recognized Sung Hoon. He and Ji Won looked completely different but I still recognized them. Ji Won had his hair dyed completely blonde while Sung Hoon’s was streaked. Kyung Hee and I watched them in silence as they began to talk. Ji Won and the others introduced themselves. Then the camera showed directly at Ji Won.

To most people he would look like an evil gang leader but in my eyes he was a beautiful angel. If it was ever possible, Ji Won was even finer than before.

“Mina, are you okay?” asked Kyung Hee, as she waved a hand in front of my face.

“Huh?” I asked looking at her. “Oh, I’m fine. Just listening to what they have to say.”

I pointed to Ji Won on the screen. “Who is he?”

“That’s Matthew Eun,” she answered me.

I stared at Ji Won some more. He had changed his name and so did Sung Hoon. No wonder I couldn’t find them.

Kyung Hee caught me staring so she smiled at me. “The leader is cute huh?”

I blushed. “Yeah.”

“Too bad in real life he’s such a jerk.”

“He is not!” I yelled at her.

Kyung Hee scooted her seat back in shock. I apologized right away. “Sorry Kyung Hee, I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

She had a confused look on her face but she said, “Uh, it’s okay Mina.”

I pulled a finger to my lips. “Shh…let’s listen to what they have to say…”

Ji Won began talking.

“This is Sechkies speaking to all you losers out there watching us. We just want to say that we’re open to hire new ‘employees’. We usually travel around to our many hotels but you’ll find us if you have the right connections. Also a word to the police of Korea. Why are you picking on us?“ Ji Won asked sarcastically. “We’re good, law-abiding citizens.”

Ji Won folded his hands together and gave a little bow. Then all of the Sechskies leaders started laughing.

“Oh my gosh! Look at him!” yelled Kyung Hee and pointed to Sung Hoon on the T.V. screen. “Look at that stupid smile and that perverted laugh. Kekeke…”

Kyung Hee made a poor impression of Sung Hoon’s laugh and it made me laugh. ‘Geez’, I thought. ‘Sung Hoon would kill her if he knew she made fun of his trademark smile’.

The show ended a little too soon for me but Ji Won did say he was visiting many hotels and mine is the biggest one. He has to come here. I went back to work and waited for him to come.

Part 18

Ji Won entered the main doors of the Nam Hotel and headed towards the lobby. He let out a sigh. Being in a hotel brought back to him a lot of memories. He remembered how he would take Mina to the hotels to trash it or slide down the long stairway banisters.

But those carefree days are over. His only love had died and he no longer has the heart to love anyone else.

Eversince the news of Mina’s death, Ji Won began to develop a passion for anything he thinks is related to her. Things like her hairbrush, the same type of lipgloss she uses, her little respirator, etc. There are times when he had to give her mouth-to-mouth if the respirator wasn’t around.

Ji Won smiled remembering that she had told him that he was her first kiss. Mina never went out with any guys so it made him really happy but he also found it very strange. He didn’t want to give her any ideas about dating other guys so he never asked.

Ji Won had changed his name to Matthew. It’s to symbolize that Ji Won died with Mina and Matthew replaced him. He chose the name Matthew because of Mina’s initial ‘M’ and if anyone asks, the ‘M’ stands for Matthew.

Sung Hoon wanted to change his name to Ricky but Ji Won wouldn’t let him. Ji Won only allowed him to change it if it had the letter ‘M’ so Sung Hoon ended up changing it to Mickey instead.

“Hey hyung! Over here!” shouted Sung Hoon.

Ji Won looked over at his five friends. He walked over to them and was surprised at what he saw. “What the hell is this?” he asked angrily. Every single one of them had a girl in each arm. “What do you guys think you’re doing?” he asked as he strode over to them.

“Come on hyung,” said Jae Duc. “Lighten up.”

“Yeah,” said Jae Jin. “We worked hard all day and now let’s have a little fun.”

Ji Won rolled his eyes and then he saw two girls wrap their arms around him. He smiled. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Alright!” they all shouted. They like it when Ji Won is in a good mood.

From where I was standing, I felt as though someone had stabbed me with a knife. Ji Won looked so happy with those 2 girls sitting on both sides of his lap. I stared at my reflection in the hotel mirror.

Big, glassy eyes, pale skin, and waist-length black hair. I looked kind of like a ghost. Not much to look at, I thought sighing sadly.

Then I felt a tap on my shoulder and I slowly turned around.

Part 19

“What are you looking at?” asked Kyung Hee.

Whew. I let out a sigh of relief. “They’re here,” I whispered to her.

“Who?” she asked, looking over my shoulder.

“SechsKies.”

“Oh. So you want to go serve them?” I shook my head ‘no’ quickly. Kyung Hee laughed. “Okay. Don’t get so worked up, Mina. I’ll do it.” She took a waitress pad and headed over to their table. I remained in the corner watching them.

“Hi, my name is Kyung Hee and I’ll be your waitress today. May I take your order?”

All the SechsKies members looked up to the pretty, young girl who just approached them. Instantly Sung Hoon made the 2 girls on his lap move. He looked up at Kyung Hee, giving her his best smile.

“I don’t know what I want for dinner, but you want to be my dessert?” The other 5 Kies members laughed while Kyung Hee rolled her eyes.

“That’s so cute. Must have took you all day to think up that one huh?”

“Ooh,” shouted Ji Yong. “This one has a mouth.”

Sung Hoon just smiled. “Feisty. I like it.”

Then he pinched Kyung Hee’s side playfully. She moved away, glaring. “Hey don’t touch me!”

“Come on babe. Go out with me. I’ll show you a good time.”

“Hell no!” Kyung Hee shouted back in his face.

Then Ji Won stood up. “Don’t talk to my friend like that,” he said in a low threatening voice. “Or else I’ll have you fired.” Ji Won’s glare made Kyung Hee move back a little bit but she answered back anyways.

“You can’t fire me! I quit!”

She handed Jae Jin her apron and pad and stomped over to me in the dark corner. “Stupid, lousy jerks,” she whispered to me.

“I know,” I whispered back, patting her shoulder. Suddenly, I caught Ji Won staring at me. I didn’t know what to say or do so I just left.

Part 20

Ji Won stared at the girl who was talking to Kyung Hee. ‘She looks like Mina,’ he thought. ‘But can’t be.’

“Hyung,” said Sung Hoon. “What are you looking at?”

“Her,” said Ji Won, pointing in Kyung Hee’s and Mina’s direction.

“You like my waitress too?” asked Sung Hoon, pouting.

“No,” said Ji Won, shaking his head. “Her friend. Doesn’t she look like Mina?”

Sung Hoon glanced at the person Ji Won was pointing to and watched her walk away. “No...” said Sung Hoon slowly. “That girl’s hair is much longer and Mina has a nicer body. That chick looks like a stick.”

Ji Won cocked an eyebrow at Sung Hoon. “How do you know Mina have a nice body?”

Sung Hoon’s eyes widened. “I dunno… just guessing. Ji Yong’s calling me. I’ll go see what he wants,” Sung Hoon said quickly and ran over to Ji Yong right away. Ji Won began to chase the girl who just left.

I heard some footsteps following behind me. I quickly turned a corner and entered my room.

Ji Won ran after her as fast as he could. He saw the girl turn a corner and he continued chasing her. He saw a figure up ahead and he grabbed her by the shoulder. When the girl turned around, she had a surprised expression on her face.

“What do you want?”

Ji Won looked at the strange girl. She looked nothing like Mina. “Wrong person.” The girl walked way. Ji Won sighed. ‘Maybe it’s cause I miss Mina so much that I’m beginning to see her.’ He began to walk back to the lobby, disappointedly.

From my hotel room, I was watching Ji Won with the little hole in the door. I saw him pat a girl and then walk away with his head bowed down. I went over and sat down on my bed. I let out a sigh. Ji Won doesn’t miss me. He has too many girls with him already. He probably forgot who I am by now.

Tears fell down my face and I didn’t even realize it. I quickly wiped them away. I wanted to tell myself that I hate Ji Won but I couldn’t because then I’d just be lying. There was only one thing left for me to do.

I stood in front of my bathroom mirror. I can’t be with Ji Won as Mina, but I wanted to be by his side to watch over him. I thought about it for a while and remembered they were recruiting new members for Black Kies.

I looked at myself. Hmm…if my hair is short and put into a cap, I wear sunglasses more, darken my skin with make-up, and lower my voice…I can pass for a guy.

So I did it. Within an hour, I had transformed myself into a guy. I checked myself over. As a guy, I didn’t look too bad. I smoothed out my new short hair and tucked it into a cap. Guys wear earrings too so I didn’t have to worry about my earring holes.

I wore a couple of T-shirts under my flannel and 2 pairs of boxers under my baggy jeans so I would fill out more and wouldn’t look so scrawny. I checked my make-up, making sure I was well-covered. I put my sunglasses on.

‘Perfect’, I thought. Now all I have to do is have to pass the test to join the gang.

Part 21

Ji Won walked down the aisle looking at the 5 new candidates. He nodded his head as he studied them.

“Pretty good,” he said to them. “Alright,” he clapped his hands for attention. “All of you know how it’s done. Jae Jin and Jae Duc will jump each of you in. If you’re still standing after 5 minutes, then welcome to SechsKies.”

Only 2 of the 5 guys lasted when Jae Jin and Jae Duc were done beating them up. “Okay,” said Sung Hoon. The two newest members to join is—“

“Wait!” shouted a voice, interrupting Sung Hoon. Everyone looked over to see who it was.

Ji Won stared at the young boy who was walking towards them. ‘What the hell? Damn! This kid looks like Mina!’ he thought. ‘I must be losing it. How come I keep seeing her today?’

Sung Hoon looked at the new boy curiously. “Yes? What do you want little man?”

I looked at Sung Hoon. ‘Gosh, he developed an attitude’, I thought. I took a deep breath. This is it. “I want to join SechsKies.”

A guy I recognized as Jang Su Won busted out laughing. He placed his hand on top of my head. “You? How old are you boy? 15? 16? And how tall are you now? 5’?”

I moved his hand for him. “No. I’m 18 and I’m not 5’, I’m 5’3.” That remark made all the other members laugh, except Ji Won. I looked at him curiously and realized he was checking me out.

‘Oh no’, I thought. ‘Please don’t recognize me’.

Ji Won held up his hand for the others to stop laughing. “Hey, if he wants a chance, then we’ll give it to him.”

Then he turned to face me. I felt my heart thumping loud and prayed he couldn’t hear it. He placed his hand on my shoulder. Dang, he smells good, I thought as I tried to suppress a smile.

“Look kid,” said Ji Won to me. “You have to be jumped in to join. These 2 guys (pointing to Jae Jin and Jae Duc) will kick the crap out of you for 5 minutes. If you’re still standing, you’re in.”

I nodded my head. I knew I had to last because I’m doing it all for Ji Won. I stood there as Jae Duc and Jae Jin began to hit me. Jae Jin threw the first punch and it gave me instant pain. He’s even stronger than my stepmom, I thought. Jae Duc kicked me and I was knocked to the ground but I kept pulling myself up.

Ji Won looked at the helpless boy who was struggling to stand up. He doesn’t understand why but when he looks at the boy, images of Mina replaced him. Right now in his eyes, it looked like it was Mina being beaten up by Jae Jin and Jae Duc. He couldn’t help it.

“Stay down!” he yelled to the boy. Everyone stared at Ji Won. Both Jae Jin and Jae Duc stopped hitting the boy because they were surprised that Ji Won was being nice out of nowhere.

I heard Ji Won yelling for me to stay down. My ears listened but my legs wouldn’t. I refused to stay down. No matter how many times they hit me or how hard, I managed to get up. Finally 5 minutes was over and I was still standing.

“Am I in?” I asked in a weak voice. I saw Ji Won staring at me with a surprised expression.

“Yes, you’re in.” he said patting my shoulder. I smiled and fainted into his arms.

Ji Won held the boy, surprised. He realized the boy had fainted. Usually he would have let go if someone fainted on him, but this time he held on tight.

The other 5 Kies members looked and the 2 new recruits looked at Ji Won with queeried eyes. “Uh, hyung,” said Sung Hoon, as he patted Ji Won on the shoulder.

“What?” asked Ji Won, as he continued holding the boy.

“What should we do about the new recruits?”

“Give them instructions and show them to their rooms. We’ll have a meeting tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

They all left but once in a while, they all would glance back looking at Ji Won, who was carrying the boy in the other direction.

Part 22

Slowly I began to regain my consciousness and I woke up. I looked around and realized I was in the biggest room in the Nam Hotel. The Presidential Suite.

“What am I doing in here?” I asked myself. Then suddenly the chair in front of me spun around. Ji Won was sitting in it. I stared at him with wide eyes. I started to panic because I was all alone with him in the room.

Ji Won gave me a sideways glance. “You okay?” he asked. I nodded my head. Ji Won got up out of his seat and walked towards me. He sat down on the bed next to me and looked at me straight in the eyes. “So what’s your name?” he asked.

“Mi-“ I began but instantly cut myself off. ‘Stupid, I thought to myself. You almost said your real name!’ I saw Ji Won’s eyes grow wide.

“What did you say your name was?”

“Min-Sung,” I answered him quickly.

“Oh,” he said and backed away from me.

Ji Won stood up and walked towards the window, looking outside. He knew the new recruit was a boy but somewhere inside him wished Min Sung would say his name was Mina. He let out a sigh.

“There’s a meeting tomorrow. Be there okay?”

I looked at Ji Won with his back facing me. It had only been 2 years but I felt as though I couldn’t read what was going on in his mind anymore. I let out a sigh myself. “Ji Won, where do we meet later tomorrow?”

The call of his real name made Ji Won suddenly look up. He ran over to where Min Sung was sitting and grabbed him by his shoulders. “How do you know my real Korean name? No one knows me by that. Everyone calls me Matthew.”

Oh no, I thought. I had completely forgotten that Ji Won had changed his name to Matthew but I thought fast. “I didn’t know your name as Ji Won. All I said was, ‘Gee, wanna go out later tomorrow?’”

I felt Ji Won’s grip on me loosen. He had bought the story. When he was looking, I let out a sigh of relief.

‘I’m losing it,’ thought Ji Won. “We’ll meet in the main dining room tomorrow,” Ji Won told Min Sung. He nodded his head and left. Ji Won walked out to the balcony and looked up at the sky.

“I love you Mina, that’s why it hurts so much that you’re not here.”

But the real Mina had left before she could have heard those words.

Part 23

Meanwhile back in the hotel lobby…

After Sung Hoon and the others gave the new recruits instructions and about the meeting, they all went back to their rooms.

“You think there’s something wrong with Matthew hyung?” asked Jae Jin.

“Yeah,” said Jae Duc. “Did you see the way he held the new guy?”

They began to shudder.

“No, it’s nothing,” answered Sung Hoon.

“You think maybe Matthew is gay?” asked Ji Yong.

“You’re the one who looks gay,” said Jae Duc, jokingly.

“Shut up!” yelled Ji Yong as he punched Jae Duc lightly.

The others began to laugh. Then Su Won said, “Could be though. I never saw him ‘be’ with a girl before.”

Sung Hoon lets out a sigh. “Okay, I’ll tell you guys the real deal. But don’t let this get back to Matthew okay?” They all nodded and leaned forward to hear the story.

“It was like 5 years ago when Matthew hyung met this girl named Nam Mina….”

“She a babe?” asked Jae Duc, interrupting.

Sung Hoon gave him a look. “Yes, Duckie, she’s a babe.”

“Oh, okay,” said Jae Duc. “Continue.”

“Anyways, Matthew knew her before he met me. It turns out that she was the first person who ever really cared about him and Matthew fell in love with her. But you know how hyung is. He could never tell anyone exactly what’ s on his mind or how he feels. Instead of saying he wants Mina to be his girlfriend, he said he wants her to be his dongsang—“

“That’s stupid!” yelled Jae Duc, interrupting Sung Hoon. “Why did he say that for? She’s a babe!”

“Sh..!” yelled Jae Jin, Ji Yong, and Su Won at Jae Duc.

Sung Hoon continued. “Well, Matthew ended up having this blood ceremony with her. They scarred each other’s back with their initial. It looks like a blood tie but later on I found out it was his symbol of promised love-“

“Ow..that must have hurt,” said Jae Duc, as he hugged himself. Jae Jin smacked him on the head for interrupting again.

“I think they knew each other for a year before they met me. At first I thought Mina was cute, but then by the way Matthew acts, I can tell she was off limits. See, Mina had this heart condition where air would suddenly be closed off and she couldn’t breathe. The only way to get air in was by this respirator—“

“The one hyung always carry?” asked Jae Duc.

“Yes Duckie,” said Sung Hoon, rolling his eyes. “Anyways, it was either that or mouth to mouth. Once when Matthew went collecting shells for Mina, I was walking along the shores with her. One of her attacks came on. I freaked out of course, but I knew what to do. I laid her down and I was about to give her CPR but then Matthew ran the speed of light and knocked me into the ocean and he gave her CPR.”

The others started laughing.

“Dang, ain’t he a Romeo?” said Jae Duc, laughing.

Sung Hoon smiled. “It’s cause he loves Mina and didn’t want any other guy touching he. I mean, during school, if any guy talks about wanting to date her, Matthew made sure he didn’t. Oh yeah, Matthew hyung hasn’t always been Matthew. His real name is Ji Won. The ‘M’ scar on his back stands for Mina, not Matthew.”

The others opened their mouths in shock. They never knew Ji Won had been this much in love before.

“How romantic,” whispered Jae Duc.

“Shut up hyung,” said Ji Yong. “Quit interrupting!”

“Okay, okay,” said Jae Duc, blocking himself from Jae Jin’s hand.

Sung Hoon began talking.

“If there are no more interruptions, then I’ll continue.” He paused for a second and then continued. “The day before Matthew and I made it to Korea, he and Mina were supposed to get married. Matthew didn’t like his dad and there was this feud in their family on who gets the grandpa’s inheritance. Matthew got it, of course, and he took it all and left Hawaii. He took me and he was planning on taking Mina too. When he went to her house though, his uncle’s men were guarding the place and he couldn’t take her. He ended up leaving Hawaii without saying goodbye to Mina.”

All of them remained silent.

Then Su Won spoke. “Last year hyung sent me out to get some news on Nam Mina. She had died drowning.”

Sung Hoon nodded. “Yeah but Matthew and I think she committed suicide. He think it’s because Mina can’t handle living with her stepmom, who always abuse her. If you ask me, I think Mina committed suicide because Matthew left her without any reason. I think hyung thinks that too but he won’t say it. I think he blames himself for her death and since then he hasn’t been the same. He used to be nicer and not this touchy. Also that’s why he’s never been with another girl. I mean, we see him flirt with other girls but none of us actually see him ‘be’ with another girl right?”

The others nodded in agreement. Sung Hoon continued. “About this new boy today. I think Matthew is losing it. He probably thinks when he sees the boy he is see—“

Sung Hoon stopped talking as he looked up. He finished his sentence with a “—See you later!” and he ran off.

Part 24

The others looked up surprised. Jae Jin smacked Jae Duc on his head.

“What?” asked Jae Duc. “I didn’t interrupt!”

“It’s not Duckie’s fault,” said Ji Yong. “Look.” Ji Yong pointed to where Sung Hoon ran off too.

“Aigo,” said Jae Jin. “It’s that same waitress babe.”

“See?” said Jae Duc. “It’s cause of a girl, not me. You hit me by mistake.”

“No, it’s not a mistake. I still wanna smack your head cause it makes this cool hollow sound,” replied Jae Jin as he smacked Jae Duc on his head again.

“So, wanna go out sometime?” Sung Hoon asked Kyung Hee, leaning near her. She rolled her eyes at him.

She answered flatly, “No” and began to leave.

Sung Hoon held onto her arm. “Come on babe. X-mas is next month and don’t be a scrooge.”

Then suddenly, Kyung Hee gave him a seductive smile. “I guess. How about we go out on November 31st then?”

Sung Hoon gave her a sexy smile back. “It’s a date then,” he answered, letting her go. The other 4 walked up to him.

“How’d it go Mickey?” asked Su Won.

“Hey, hey, what can I say?” answered Sung Hoon cockily. “I’m the man!”

Jae Jin gave him a high-five.

“Alright!” yelled Jae Duc. “When you 2 going out?”

“November 31st,” answered Sung Hoon.

“Uh, Mickey,” said Ji Yong.

“Sup Ji Yong?” said Sung Hoon.

“November doesn’t have a 31st.”

“What?” asked Sung Hoon, surprised. He looked at the calendar. November ended on the 30th. He looked around but Kyung Hee had already left. He started cursing while the others tried to hold back their laughter.

November 23, 1998

“This meeting of SechsKies is now in session,” announced Ji Won to the main members of the group, along with the new recruits. His voice got their attention and they quickly focused their attention on Ji Won.

Ji Won looked to see if Min Sung was there. He was. Ji Won gave a little smile to him. He didn’t know why but when he looks at Min Sung his mind would replace Min Sung’s face with Mina’s.

“So any new business?” he asked the members.

“Yes,” answered Jae Jin. “The Black Dragons have killed some of our members and took away some of our businesses.”

“Damn it!” yelled Ji Won as he pounded his fist on the table. “We’ll just have to see that this Black Dragon matter will be solved. Mickey you, Ji Yong, Su Won, and the 2 new recruits deal with the businesses. Jae Jin, Jae Duc, and Min Sung will come with me.” Everyone looked at Ji Won strangely.

Sung Hoon began to speak. “Uh, hyung. You want to take Min Sung along?”

Ji Won glared at him. “Yeah. Anyone here have any objections?” No one answered. “Meeting adjourned,” announced Ji Won and everyone went to work.

Part 25

I followed the Black Kies to a dark alley. I was surprised Ji Won wanted to take me along, considering I was one of the weakest members. I thought I would get to work with the White Kies in businesses.

“Hey kid,” said Jae Duc to me.

“What is it?”

He handed me a gun. “Use this to protect yourself.”

My eyes widened as I held the cold metal. ‘Please don’t let me use it’, I prayed silently.

Ji Won walked over to Min Sung. “Okay, the coleaders of Black Dragons are meeting around here. You’ll recognize them by the dragon tattoos on their arms. If you see them, just shoot them as they come out.”

“But Matthew hyung, I—“ but my words were cut off the sound of gunshots.

POW

“Get down!” yelled Ji Won as he covered me. Then he started firing. I covered my ears and watched Ji Won in disbelief. He had shot 4 people and killed 3. Ji Won stood up smiling.

I couldn’t believe it. I was in love with a cold-blooded killer. Jae Jin and Jae Duc killed some other members and Ji Won told them to kill every single Black Dragon member.

One Black Dragon member lay hurt on the ground. Ji Won pulled him up by the collar of his shirt and pointed a gun to his head. “Tell me who’s your leader punk or else I’ll blow your brains out.”

The young boy was whimpering. I felt sorry for him. “Please don’t kill me. My leader is Eun Tae Won.”

“Who the hell is that?” asked Ji Won angrily. “What the hell does he have against me?”

“He’s the godson of Mr. Eun, who’s one of the heirs of the Eun Hotel Empire and he came to get the inheritance back from you.”

I listened to what the boy was saying. I never knew that Ji Won’s uncle had a godson. From what I had heard, Ji Won’s uncle had passed away 2 months ago and he had an heir. ‘The heir is the leader of Black Dragon’, I figured out.

“That bastard,” said Ji Won. “He’s dead and he still has someone after me.” When Ji Won wasn’t looking, the Black Dragon boy had pulled out a knife, ready to stab Ji Won.

I didn’t have time to think so I reacted instantly. I shot the boy. He fell back in pain but managed to get up and run away.

Ji Won looked at me surprised. He gave me a smile. “Good job, Min Sung,” he said walking over to me and patted me on the back. I was appalled at what I had done. I couldn’t answer him so I just handed him back the gun.

Just then Jae Jin and Jae Duc came back to us. “Got them all hyung,” said Jae Jin smiling as he did fancy handwork with his gun.

“Good,” said Ji Won. “Min Sung here just saved my life. I knew it was a good idea to bring him along.”

“Really?” asked Jae Duc. “Nice work kid.” Then he punched me lightly on the shoulder.

When we made it back to the hotel, I ran into my room using my respirator and swallowed a pill. Afterwards, I took a shower. I felt so dirty because what I had done. I knew this was going to be only one of the many dirty work I would have to do to stay with Ji Won.

Part 26

A few months later…

During this time, since I saved Ji Won’s life, he began to trust me more and confided in me with everything. I was like his new best friend. SechsKies continued traveling to many places and recruited new members.

More war between SechsKies and Black Dragons broke out. Many businesses were shut down and more members were killed from both sides. All the blood shed and fighting was getting to me but I held on. All the members of SechsKies accepted me but sometimes I overhear them whisper that I’m gay. I didn’t care as long as I had Ji Won.

April 30, 1999

Finally, after many days of hard work, SechsKies finally got a day of rest. The leaders always hang out together but Ji Won always included me. We were at this fancy restaurant and were all having a good time. Jae Duc was telling us funny jokes. He stopped in the middle of a joke as he saw the Black Dragon leaders enter the restaurant.

Tension was felt by everyone. The Black Dragons sat down across from us. Ji Won and Tae Won were giving each other glares.

Underneath the tables, we pulled out our guns. I knew the Black Dragons were doing the same. We didn’t know which side fired the first shot but before we knew it, bullets were flying everywhere.

Ji Won covered me as we ran out of the restaurant safely. We met up with the other 5 Kies in a dark alley. The Black Dragons were still chasing us.

“Damn it hyung! What should we do?” asked Jae Jin.

“Kill them all!” shouted Ji Won.

“There are too many,” Ji Yong shouted back. “Let’s just hide out in this motel.” We all ran and hid in this cheap motel’s restaurant. The Black Dragons lost us and continued searching.

“I don’t believe this!” said Ji Won furiously. “I, Matthew Eun, of SechsKies have to hide down here in this cockroach motel like I’m a dog or something!”

“Calm down,” I said to him gently, patting his back. “It’s not so bad.”

“Yeah hyung,” said Sung Hoon. “It’s only for one night. Besides, we’ll make them pay for this.”

All of us looked around. There was only one bed. I could tell none of us wanted the floor because it was disgusting and reeked of something. “I ain’t taking the floor!” all of us shouted in unison.

“There’s only one bed though,” said Su Won.

“Look on the bright side,” said Jae Duc as he laid out the sheets on the bed. “At least it’s king size.”

I nodded my head. “It’ll be tight but we’ll all have to try and fit in.”

Soon it was Jae Jin, Jae Duc, Ji Won, me, Sung Hoon, Ji Yong, and Su Won lying down side by side uncomfortably on the bed. We were laying down one by one and the others looked at me strangely as I ran to be the next person who lie near Ji Won.

Soon everyone fell asleep except me. I made sure everyone was asleep before I made my move. I bent over to kiss Ji Won lightly on the lips. Then I laid my head down on his chest to hear his heart beat. I sighed contentedly.

Then suddenly I felt Ji Won’s leg twitch. Oh no. I knew what he was about to do. His 360. I placed my entire body on top of his because I didn’t want to get kicked.

As Ji Won did his 360, he kicked everyone except me off the bed. As always when Ji Won was done, he had a huge smile on his face. Then he held onto me tightly. I was overwhelmed with happiness.

The others must have been exhausted because none of them woke up except Jae Duc. He opened his eyes sleepily and said, “Huh?”

“You’re dreaming,” I whispered to him. He nodded his head and went back to sleep. Soon I drifted off to sleep too.

Part 27

Next Morning…

May 1, 1999

Ji Won began to stir. He woke up finding Min Sung holding onto him tightly. Ji Won widened his eyes and gently unraveled Min Sung’s arms and legs off of him.

The guys already called Min Sung gay and he didn’t want them to think he’s gay too. He sat up and saw 5 of the SechsKies leaders lying on the floor.

Then Sung Hoon began to wake up. He sat up and looked around. “Gross! How the hell did I end up down here?” Ji Won shrugged his shoulders.

Then Jae Duc woke up. “Damn, my butt hurts. It feels like someone kicked it last night.” Then one by one everyone woke up.

“P.U.!,” yelled Jae Jin. “This floor stinks!” Everyone started laughing.

“Sorry you guys,” said Ji Won laughing. “I must have done a 360 and kicked you all off.”

“How come you didn’t fall off Min Sung?” asked Ji Yong.

Uh, oh, I thought. “I did,” I answered him. “But I got back up and went to sleep on the bed again.”

“Really?” asked Su Won. “I didn’t even know. I just went right on sleeping.”

Ji Won began to study Min Sung. It was weird but somehow Ji Won had a feeling that Min Sung knew he does a 360 in his sleep. ‘But that’s impossible,’ he thought to himself. ‘Only Mina knows that and why didn’t Min Sung say anything about me kicking him?’ Ji Won didn’t know what was going on with Min Sung but he knew he had to find out.

We all got up and ready to leave the room. The coast seemed clear so we walked out unarmed. Big mistake. There was an ambush waiting for us.

“Disperse!” yelled Ji Won and we all ran our separate ways.

Black Dragons chased after each one of us. I lost the Black Dragon member that was chasing me but I didn’t want to go back the hotel room without Ji Won so I turned back to get him.

When I found Ji Won, he was backed up against the wall by a Black Dragon. It was the leader, Tae Won. He was telling Ji Won to bow down and beg for mercy but Ji Won ended up spitting in his face. Tae Won got angry and pulled the knife back to stab Ji Won in his throat.

I ran as fast as I could and knocked Tae Won down. He dropped the knife and fell to the floor with me. As he fell, he used the handled of the knife to knock Ji Won unconscious. Tae Won got up glaring at me.

“Do you know whom you’re messing with?” he asked me angrily.

I glared at him back unflinching. “I’ll make you pay for hurting Ji Won.”

“Oh you must be the gay SechsKies member I’ve heard so much about,” said Tae Won laughing. “You’re afraid your faggot leader would die leaving you alone?”

That made me really angry. I didn’t care that he called me gay but calling Ji Won a faggot ticked me off. Since he was distracted, I grabbed the hand he was holding the sword with, and made him stab himself. He cried out in shock and pain. He pulled knife out of him.

Tae Won pushed me away and cuts me in the knee with his knife. I fell down and saw him raise the knife above my head. I was going to die.

Then suddenly a voice screamed out, “Gang Rape!”

It made Tae Won run off. I looked over to see who it was. It was Kyung Hee screaming for the cops. I saw her looking at me sighing and walked away.

“Kyung Hee!” I screamed for her.

Kyung Hee looked at me strangely as she approached me. “Do I know you?”

I nodded my head and motioned for her to come near me. When she did, I whispered in her ear, “It’s me, Mina.”

“Mina? But you’re a guy!” she yelled back at me.

“Look at me closely.”

When she did, her eyes widened as she grabbed a hold of me. “Mina, it is you!” I turned her back to face me. “Please help me bring Ji Won back to the hotel.” Kyung Hee made a face of disgust.

“What are you doing with the SechsKies leader and why are you dressed like a guy?”

“I’ll explain later,” I told her. We both put Ji Won’s arms around us as we carried him back. Along the way we found Sung Hoon unconscious on the ground, bleeding. I set Ji Won down gently and lifted Sung Hoon up.

“Sung Hoon!” I said, shaking him. He was hurt badly. “Kyung Hee, please do me a favor. You carry Sung Hoon while I carry Ji Won.”

Kyung Hee looked at me reluctantly but then nodded. I lifted Ji Won onto my back and carried him back to the Nam Hotel. My leg was still bleeding from the cut and I was limping.

“Mina, can you carry him?” Kyung Hee asked me, concerned.

“I’ll be fine,” I answered her as we made it back.

Part 28

I took Ji Won back to his room while Kyung Hee took Sung Hoon back to his. I washed Ji Won’s cuts and nursed his wounds. When he was bandaged, I sat down on the chair next to his bed.

Then suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. One of my attacks is coming on and I didn’t have my respirator with me. My heart was aching so painfully that I was gasping in pain. But then I remembered Ji Won had a respirator. I searched his pockets and sure enough, there it was. I started pumping it quickly and air entered my lungs.

My vision cleared and I began to breathe easier. Then I put it back into his pocket. My touch made Ji Won stir. He began to wake up. He looked at me.

“Min Sung?” he asked weakly.

I nodded my head. “Yes, it’s me hyung.”

Ji Won lifted himself up. “Where am I?”

“We’re back at our hotel.”

“Oh,” Ji Won said as he looked at my leg. “What happened to your knee?”

I looked down at it. It was bleeding through my pants. “It’s nothing hyung. I’ll be okay in a few days.”

“Did Tae Won do this to you?”

I nodded my head.

Ji Won pounded his fist on his desk. “Damn him! I’ll get him back.”

“It’s okay hyung,” I said calming him down.

“By the way,” he asked me suddenly, “how did you end up finding me? Weren’t you supposed to come back here by yourself?”

His question hit me by surprise. I answered him truthfully. “I came back to look for you because I was worried you might be in danger.” I saw Ji Won look at me awkwardly and inched himself away from me. ‘He thinks I’m gay’, I thought.

“Uh, thanks for coming back to save me then,” Ji Won said to Min Sung awkwardly. Min Sung nodded and left his room. Ji Won lets out a sigh. He loved Min Sung as a friend and definitely nothing more. He didn’t want Min Sung to have any thoughts.

Instinctively Ji Won reached into his pocket to check to see if his respirator was still there. It was but it was different. Ji Won stared at it with wide eyes. His once filled respirator was now only half full with air.

Someone had been using it.

Part 29

Later that evening Ji Won posted a note on my door telling me to meet him. It was 8 p.m. and I knocked the door to his room.

“Come in,” said Ji Won. I entered his room, not knowing what he was going to say. “Follow me,” he ordered. He left the room and I followed him.

He took me to the beach that was near our hotel. Then he walked over to a spot where there were two rocks side by side. I caught my breath. This looks exactly like our spot in Hawaii, I thought.

“Come here and sit next to me, Min Sung,” said Ji Won to me, patting the rock next to him. I sat down near him and closed my eyes as I breathed in the salty sea air.

Ji Won began to study Min Sung. ‘He looks like Mina in a way,’ he thought. ‘Could he be Mina in another form?’ Ji Won didn’t believe in reincarnation but Min Sung was too much like Mina for him. He wanted to see if somehow Min Sung was Mina so he had to test him.

“Min Sung, you want to hear a story?”

“Sure,” said Min Sung eagerly.

Ji Won smiled as he told his story. “There once was this rich boy who came from a messed up family. He had no friends at all. Then one day he met this little girl who became his friend. She was really nice to him, unlike his family, so he began to adopt her as his dongsang.” Ji Won paused right there to see Min Sung’s reaction.

My smile faded when Ji Won began his story. He was talking about our life in Hawaii. Then I figured out he was testing me. ‘The respirator’, I thought. ‘I must have drained it when I was using it so now he suspects me’. I steadied myself and tried my best to give no reaction.

Ji Won stared at Min Sung, who appeared to have no reaction to the story. “Well what do you think?” Ji Won asked him.

“That’s a cute story, hyung,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.

Ji Won continued. “Do you know why he took extra care of his dongsang?” Min Sung shook his head no. “It’s because she has this heart problem and needed this respirator to breathe.” He took out the respirator from his pocket and showed it to Min Sung. Again, no reaction.

“Poor girl,” said Min Sung.

“Yes, poor girl,” said Ji Won sadly. “She died a few years later.”

I looked at Ji Won sadly. I knew Ji Won felt bad because of my death but since I’m no one special to him, it wouldn’t matter if he knew the truth that Mina was still alive and with him right now. Then Ji Won took out a stone and handed me one. I rubbed the white marble stone for a while.

“Throw it,” he told me. I shook my head no. To me it was like a present so I didn’t throw it but just kept it in my pocket. Ji Won threw his into the ocean. It skipped 3 times.

“Perfect,” he said.

“Why is it perfect?” I asked him.

This time I wished he would tell me the significance of the 3-skip. “When the stone skips 3 times, it means 3 words. I love you.” I looked at Ji Won in an overwhelming joy. Did Ji Won love me? He had thrown the rock and it skipped 3 times many times before.

“So did the rich boy ever really loved his dongsang?” I asked Ji Won.

Ji Won looked at me. “Of course he does. He has a lot of brotherly love for her.”

“Oh,” I whispered softly. My heart began to ache.

As Ji Won continued staring at the ocean, I began to walk home with a heavy heart. Ji Won began to shake his head. ‘Mina’s dead already so why am I denying that I love her?’ he thought to himself as he stared out to the ocean.

“Actually, Min Sung, the rich boy loved his dongsang the first day he met her but he’s such a weak person. He never could admit his feelings for her and just waited for her to say that she loves him first.”

Ji Won turned around and saw that Min Sung had left. ‘Oh well,’ he thought as he headed back to the hotel.

Part 30

*Since some of you wanted to hear more about Sung Hoon and Kyung Hee, this chapter is a little side story.

Sung Hoon woke up aching. He realized he was back at the Nam Hotel and in his room. “How did I make it back here?” he asked himself. Then he realized he was wearing nothing but his boxers. His bathroom door suddenly opened and out came Kyung Hee. “Hey!” he shouted as he pulled a blanket over to cover himself.

Kyung Hee rolled her eyes. “It’s too late for that. I’ve seen it all already,” she told him as she yanked the blanket away.

Sung Hoon crossed his arms over his chest. “So you took advantage of me in my weak state?”

“So what if I did?” she snapped at him.

“That means you have to marry me and support me while I give birth to your child.” Kyung Hee couldn’t help but laugh.

Sung Hoon smiled at her. ‘I guess he isn’t so bad,’ she thought. “You know,” said Sung Hoon quietly. “You didn’t have to diss me like that when you said you’ll go out with me.” Kyung Hee looked at him.

“I had to! You were such an arrogant jerk and you wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“Maybe it’s because I like you too much to leave you alone,” he replied back.

Kyung Hee blushed a little and decided to change the subject. “Give me your arm,” she said to him. Sung Hoon’s right arm was bleeding and Kyung Hee began to wash the cut.

“Ow!” he yelled in pain, pulling his arm back. “That hurts.”

“Does it?” Kyung Hee asked him, concerned. “I’m sorry.”

She leaned over to blow on his cut. Sung Hoon stared at her the entire time. He felt warm and shy being around her. He never felt this way for a girl before. She was nice to him and not dissing him like she usually does. He really liked that feeling. Kyung Hee gently placed his arm into a cast.

“There,” she said. “All better.”

“You know,” said Sung Hoon softly. “Everyone says kisses make boo-boos feel better and go away.”

When Kyung Hee was nursing Sung Hoon, she developed a liking for him and his nice body was a good addition. “Really?” she asked skeptically. “I don’t believe you.”

“Why don’t you test it out then?” he challenged her smiling.

“Maybe I will,” she said, flirting back. “Where does it hurt?”

Sung Hoon pointed to his knee. Kyung Hee kissed it. Then he pointed to his hand. She kissed it too. Slowly he pointed to his forehead, which she also kissed. He worked his way down to his nose. Kyung Hee couldn’t help but laugh as she kissed his nose lightly. Sung Hoon’s nose was broken.

Then he pointed to his lips. Kyung Hee was about to kiss it lightly but then Sung Hoon held onto her tightly to deepen the kiss. Kyung Hee felt drawn to him so she didn’t push him away. He turned her over so she lie down on his bed, with him on top of her.

His hand went under the back of her shirt and he stopped there. Kyung Hee continued kissing him and ran her fingers through his hair. Since she wasn’t stopping him, he was about to continue when…

*knock knock*

‘I’m going to kill that person,’ thought Sung Hoon as he broke off the kiss. “Yeah? What is it?” he yelled.

“Matthew wants all of us to go down to the dining room for a meeting,” said Ji Yong.

“Okay, I’ll be there in 5 minutes!” Sung Hoon yelled back. When he heard footsteps of Ji Yong leaving, he kissed Kyung Hee once more. “Sorry honey, I have to go but I’ll be right back.” Kyung Hee nodded and helped him into his clothes.

Part 31

“Order SechsKies!” yelled Ji Won.

“Ooh, ooh,” said Jae Duc. “I want some kimbab!”

Ji Won glared at him. Jae Duc shuts up. “Now I want to talk to all of you about Min Sung. He’s only been here for a few months but he had saved my life twice and not to mention, Sung Hoon’s.” Sung Hoon slapped Min Sung on the back and smiled.

“Now,” continued Ji Won. “What do you want Min Sung? A car, money, women? Tell us and it’s yours.”

“Yeah,” said Sung Hoon. “Just name it buddy and it’s yours.”

I thought about it for a while. The only thing I wanted was Ji Won but I couldn’t say that. Since he was suspecting me so much there was only one thing I should ask for. “I want a woman,” I told them. They all opened their mouths in shock.

“Alright Min Sung, you dog!” yelled Sung Hoon, breaking the silence. “At least you’re proving to us that you’re a man now!”

“Okay,” said Ji Won slowly. “Who’s the girl?”

“So Kyung Hee,” I announced.

I saw Sung Hoon’s smiling face turn mad.

“Who do you want?” Sung Hoon asked me in disbelief.

I repeated myself. “So Kyung Hee.”

Sung Hoon grabbed me by the collar of my shirt. “Out of all the girls you could have picked, why her?” he yelled at me. I knew Sung Hoon liked Kyung Hee but Kyung Hee was the only person that could help me.

“I happen to like her too,” I answered him. “Besides, you all said I can have anything I want, and I want Kyung Hee.”

“He’s right,” said Ji Won softly. “We can’t go back on our words.” Ji Won clapped his hands for attention. “So Kyung Hee now belongs to Ahn Min Sung. Anyone from SechsKies who touches her, the penalty is death.”

Su Won and Ji Yong had to hold Sung Hoon back from attacking me. “I thought you were my friend!” he yelled as they took him away. I sighed and headed for my room.

Ji Won looked at Min Sung as he was walking away. “Min Sung.”

“Yes hyung?”

“Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“Yes hyung. I’ve never been more sure in my life.” Then Min Sung left.

When I made it back into my room, Kyung Hee was in there waiting for me. “What the hell is going on?” she asked me. I knew it was time to tell her my story. When I finished, she was bawling like a baby. I handed her a tissue.

“Th..that is s..so..romantic,” Kyung Hee said, sobbing.

I patted her head as she leaned on me. “No, it’s not.”

“So you’re not going to tell Ji Won who you really are?”

I shook my head. “It wouldn’t matter anyways.”

“How do you know? If he knows you’re still alive, who knows? He might fall in love with you.”

“Maybe,” I began slowly. “But then he’d love me out of pity and not out of love. I don’t want that.”

“Oh.” Kyung Hee stared at the floor. “I wonder if Mickey really likes me.”

“What?!” I asked in surprise.

She looked at me sheepishly. “Oh, I forgot to tell you that Mickey and I are beginning to fall for each other.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t have a chance to. Besides, it just happened.”

“I’m sorry Kyung Hee.”

“It’s okay,” she said as she hugged me. “We’ll just have to put our little romance on hold for a while. You’re more important.”

“No, I’ll go tell—“

My words were cut off by my lack of air. This time my attack was worser than it ever had been before. Kyung Hee stared at me frightened.

“Mina! What’s happening?”

“C..can’t breathe…” I managed to say. She lifted me up.

“Come on, I’ll take you to the hospital.”

“Don’t let the others see me,” I said to her before I collapsed into total darkness.

Part 32

Slowly I began to open my eyes. I closed them instantly because the light reflecting me was so bright. ‘Am I on the other side?’ I wondered. I managed to squint my eyes open.

I found myself strapped to a pulse racer machine and an IV fluid was hooked up to me. I started to look around my room. I was in a hospital and I saw that my door was open slightly ajar. Then I heard 2 voices talking and I began to eavesdrop.

“It’s a miracle that she’s still alive,” said the doctor.

“Is she going to be okay?” Kyung Hee asked him.

“Well, according to these test results, her heart will expire any time now. We need to get her a heart transplant soon because she’s past overdue for 2 years already. I made some calls and there is a matching donor for her in England.”

“I’ll have to talk to her about it.”

“Please do,” said the doctor. “It’s her only hope of living.”

Kyung Hee slowly entered my room. She stared at me with wide eyes. “You heard everything Mina?”

I nodded my head weakly and took the air respirator off my mouth. “You can tell him to forget about it. I’m not going to England for a couple of months to get surgery.”

Kyung Hee ran over and shook me. “Mina, are you crazy? You have to or you’ll die.”

“No,” I told her stubbornly. “It was so hard for me to find Ji Won and I won’t let go of him just like that.”

Kyung Hee began to cry. “I don’t want you to die though.”

I looked at her sadly. “You’re a good friend Kyung Hee. I know you’ll be the perfect girl for Sung Hoon.” I yanked the IV tube off my arm. “Come on. Let’s go home.”

A little over a month later….

My heart condition began to grow worse. My attacks became more frequently and undetected. It would happen during odd times like when I’m showering or having dinner with the SechsKies guys. Luckily Kyung Hee was always there by my side to cover for me.

Sung Hoon hated me. I can tell by the way he acts. He probably thinks that Kyung Hee really likes Ahn Min Sung (that’s me). What he doesn’t know is Kyung Hee truly does love him and it breaks her heart seeing him go out with other girls. I think he’s doing that to make her jealous.

As for Ji Won, he began to grow distant towards me. He wouldn’t talk to me much and he’s been depressed about something lately. I wish I could know what was bothering him because it hurts me to see him sad like that.

Secrets are definitely hard to keep. Especially ones that you have to cover everyday. I should have known that my disguise and heart attacks would be exposed soon but it just came to me unexpectedly…

Part 33

June 15, 1999

Ji Won was in his depressed state again. There was this empty void inside him that he couldn’t erase. It was a recurring pain that never seemed to end. He felt lonely.

Whenever he sees Min Sung and Kyung Hee together, it disturbs him. He could’t figure out what it was but he kept finding something wrong with the picture. Then a knock came on his door.

“Come in,” he said, without bothering to see who it was.

I entered Ji Won’s room holding a tray of food. Now these days since he was in his isolated stage, he didn’t eat much anymore. I was beginning to worry. I didn’t have much time left with him so I wanted to take care of him the best I could with the time I still had left.

“Hyung? Are you hungry? I brought you some food.”

Ji Won turned around to see who it was. It was Min Sung. “Just put it down.” Min Sung placed it down before Ji Won. Ramyun, mee-yuk-gook, rice, and curry. ‘How does he know I like these food?’ Ji Won thought. “Take it away I don’t want it.”

“But hyung, you haven’t eaten for days. Please eat a little bit.”

“I said take it away!” Ji Won yelled, his anger exploding. He knocked over the tray of food. It ended up spilling all over Min Sung. Ji Won and Min Sung stared at each other. Neither of them knew what to say. Min Sung leaned over to clean up the spilled food and then left.

Ji Won fell back in his chair. He ran his hands through his hair frustrated. Min Sung was too much like Mina that it was driving him crazy. Ji Won knew he was out of line though, so he began to walk to Min Sung’s room to apologize.

’What a mess’, I thought as I stripped out of my clothes. I soaked myself into a hot water bath, hoping it could wash away all my troubles. When I was done with my bath, I wrapped myself up in a towel and got out of the tub. Then I heard my room door open and then close.

‘Must be Kyung Hee’, I thought as I began to put my clothes on.

Ji Won entered Min Sung’s room, not knowing what to say. He wasn’t good at apologizing. He looked around and didn’t see Min Sung anywhere. Then he heard the sound of water draining. He figured Min Sung must be in the bathroom.

Ji Won opened the door slightly and saw Min Sung’s bare back. He shuts the door quietly and began to leave. He planned to apologize later but then his mind began to sort out what he had just seen. Min Sung’s back had an ‘E’ on it. Ji Won breaks the open the door to the bathroom.

I was buttoning up my long sleeve shirt when my door suddenly opened. I stared at Ji Won in shock but then remembered I wasn’t completely dressed yet. I buttoned up the remaining buttons and then faced him.

“Hyung!” I said surprised. “What are you doing here?” I caught Ji Won looking down at my shirt. I had buttoned it all wrong and a great deal of my body was showing. Oh hell, I thought. “Hyung, I can explain-“ I began to tell him but I never had a chance to.

Ji Won stared at Min Sung’s exposed body. Without thinking, he ripped open Min Sung’s shirt finding that Min Sung was indeed a woman. Min Sung stood still, stunned at what Ji Won had just did. He turned Min Sung’s back to him. There it was. His ‘E.’

“M...Mina?” he asked uncertainly, afraid to hope.

I didn’t know what I was more embarrassed from. Letting Ji Won expose me or being caught. In all my life I had never been angry at Ji Won but I didn’t know why I reacted impulsively. As I held my shirt together, I slapped Ji Won across the face hard with my other hand. His head snapped to the side. He held his cheeks as he turned to face me.

“How could you do this to me Ji Won?” I asked him screaming. “Get out! Get out!” I started to push him out the door.

Ji Won was in shock. Mina, he thought. He grabbed her arms as she pushed him out. “Mina, don’t! Is it really you?”

I glared at him. As if he knew, Ji Won took off his jacket and puts it around my shoulders. I zipped it up, covering myself. “Yes Ji Won, it is me Mina.”

“But I thought you were dead.”

“I didn’t die. I faked my death.”

“Why?”

“So I could go to Korea.”

“You came all the way from Hawaii to find me? Why didn’t you just tell me who you are?”

Ji Won looked at Mina, who had tears coming out of her eyes. He was about to brush them off for her but then Mina pushed his hand away.

“That’s the only way I could do to be with you. Join SechsKies.” Ji Won stared at Mina as she continued talking. “After you left me all alone in Hawaii, my life became so miserable. Not because of my stepmom, but because of you. I finally found a way to leave Hawaii to find you. I was so happy when I thought about how I could see you again. I thought—“

Ji Won began to feel a rush of mixed emotions. Mina’s words made him sad but seeing her alive in front of him, made him want to hold onto her and never let her go. He paused to let her continue.

"—I thought that we could be together like we were….oppa and dongsang in Hawaii. But obviously, I was wrong. You had all those girls around you that you’ve completely forgotten about me.”

Ji Won felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. Each one of Mina’s words stabbed him like a knife. “Mina, you don’t understand. I—“ Mina didn’t wait for his explanation and ran. Ji Won chased after her.

“Mina!” he yelled as he chased her out of the hotel.

“Hyung,” said Su Won as he saw Ji Won ran by him. Ji Won pushed him out of the way.

Kyung Hee ran up to the 5 Kies. “What happened?”

Su Won shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. Ji Won was chasing Min Sung and kept screaming Mina.”

Kyung Hee stumbled back and Sung Hoon caught her. ‘Oh no, poor Mina,’ she thought. She turned around to see Sung Hoon looking at her sadly. Kyung Hee moved close to him and held onto him tight. Neither one of them lets go.

Part 34

June 16, 1999

It was 3 a.m. and Ji Won had lost Mina. As he chased her down the streets he lost track of where she ran off to. “Mina!” he continued shouting. His cries echoed throughout the streets. A lot of people heard him yelling. So did the Black Dragons.

Tae Won silently crept behind Ji Won. Ji Won was all alone. Tae Won gave an evil smile. He had a plan. He and his sidekick began to set up a trap for Ji Won, which they knew he would fall for.

“Mina!”

I covered my ears. I didn’t want to hear Ji Won’s voice. I was so confused. All I ever wanted was to be with Ji Won but now it’s all complicated. I leaned back against the alley wall. I needed time to think.

Ji Won ran through the alleys as he continued searching for Mina. Then he ran into Tae Won. Out of the darkness, Tae Won stepped out. “Looking for someone?” he asked.

“Yeah,” said Ji Won, glaring at him. “I’m looking for Min Sung.”

“The punk that stabbed me?” Tae Won asked furiously.

“Yeah.”

“I got him.”

“You do?” Ji Won asked surprised. “Hand him over!”

“There he is,” said Tae Won, pointing to a figure up ahead. From the back it did look like Min Sung but little did Ji Won know that it was all a setup.

“Mina?” Ji Won whispered as he approached the person. It was a Black Dragon member. He grabbed a hold of Ji Won around the neck and began shooting Ji Won continually in the stomach.

I looked out from where I was hiding when I heard gunshots. “Ji Won!” I screamed as I ran out from where I hid. My scream threw the Black Dragon member off guard. Seeing his chance, Ji Won grabbed the gun from him and shot him in the head. He fell to the floor dead. Tae Won started to run away but Ji Won aimed a shot directly at his heart. Tae Won fell down dead too.

Ji Won looked at me and then collapsed to the cold ground. He wasn’t able to hold on any longer. Rain began to pour.

“Ji Won!” I screamed, shaking him.

He was still breathing but barely. I lifted Ji Won up on my back and carried him to a nearby hospital. The rain drenched us and it grew hard for me to carry him because of the weight. However, I managed to make it. They rushed him into the emergency room.

Four hours later, the doctor came out.

“How is he?” I asked as I ran up to him.

“He was shot 4 times in the stomach region. As you know, a person needs at least one kidney to survive but both of his are destroyed. Unless we can find a donor, he’ll have to die.”

“Give him mine,” I told the doctor right away.

“Are you sure?” I nodded my head. “Because of your heart condition, if we have this operation that means you can die instantly during the transfer.”

I nodded my head again. “I understand. Please let’s have the operation now.”

They tested me and luckily I was compatible with Ji Won. Six hours later the surgery was completed. It’s a miracle that I’m still alive. I knew not for long though.

I woke up finding myself in a hospital bed with Ji Won on a bed next to me. He was still in a coma. I got out of bed and went near him. I stroked his hair gently as I bent down to kiss him.

“I love you Ji Won,” I whispered to him. Then I left the room, going to the last place I wanted to be.

Part 35

Ji Won began to wake up. He looked around and realized he was in a hospital room. Slowly his door began to open and the rest of SechsKies entered his room.

“Hyung?” asked Sung Hoon. “Are you okay?”

Ji Won nodded his head weakly as he pulled himself up. “I’m okay now.”

Jae Jin walked over to his bedside. “We’re so sorry Matthew hyung. We didn’t know what happened until this morning. We got revenge for you though when we wiped out the entire Black Dragon hideout.”

“It’s okay,” he told them softly as they all bowed down.

Then a knock came to his door. The doctor came in. “Oh good, you’re awake,” he said.

Ji Won looked at him. “Thanks for saving me Doc.”

“No need to thank me. Your girlfriend is the one who saved your life.”

Ji Won began to panic. “What did she do?”

“She could have gotten a chance to go to England to get a heart transplant but she decided to stay to give you her kidney instead.”

“The girl…where is she?” he asked frantically.

The doctor looked around the room. “She was supposed to be in here—“ Ji Won got out of bed and ran out of the room, leaving everyone staring after him.

“Hyung!” all the 5 Kies shouted but Ji Won had already left. He ran searching for Mina. He knew where she went.

Part 36

June 17, 1999

’Please let Ji Won be okay’, I prayed to myself silently. Hopefully my prayers will be answered. So is this the end? My heart never changed because it was still the same one I loved Ji Won with. I couldn’t bear the thought of trading it with someone else. I was so confused. Had I finished what I had really come for? What will happen to my love for Ji Won? I didn’t know these answers.

I felt weaker and my pen fell from my fingers. I stopped my story right there. Truth is, I didn’t know how to end it so I might as well leave it unfinished. I took off my cap and clothes. I was wearing a long white flowing dress underneath. It was the kind I always wanted to wear when I thought I was going to marry Ji Won.

My hair had grown out a little bit. It grazed my chin. I started to put on some light make up and combed my hair. I don’t know why I’m getting dressed up for but I knew I wanted to die looking like Nam Mina, and not Ahn Min Sung. I looked at my reflection again. ‘At least I look like a girl now’, I thought with a little laugh.

When I was done, I leaned against the hard rock and wrapped my arms around it, pretending it was Ji Won. Then I heard a voice yelling out my name. “Mina!” I recognized the voice. Ji Won. I smiled, knowing at least he’ll be the last person I’ll see before I go.

Ji Won looked around the beach and saw a figure in a white dress. ‘Mina,’ he thought as he ran towards her. It was Mina. He lifted her into his arms and onto his lap as he sat down on the rocks. “Mina,” he whispered to her and kissed her on the neck and face. Tears began to fall down his face.

All of my energy seemed to have been drained as I forced myself to open my eyes. My face felt wet but it wasn’t from my tears and it wasn’t raining either. My vision was kind of blurred and I couldn’t see Ji Won too well. I reached up to touch his face. It was wet. “Ji Won,” I whispered to him. “Please don’t cry. You’re scaring me. I’ve never seen you cry before.”

Ji Won looked down at Mina, through his tear-filled eyes. “I’m so sorry Mina.”

“Don’t say you’re sorry,” she whispered back to him. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”

Ji Won shook his head. “I’m so sorry. You’ve done so much for me and I haven’t even realized it. I haven’t done anything for you except put you through a lot of pain.”

I reached up wipe away Ji Won’s tears. “I didn’t expect anything back from you oppa. But I want to know why did you leave me in Hawaii? I could have called the wedding off if you didn’t want to marry me.” I felt Ji Won’s grip on me tighten.

“I didn’t mean to leave you Mina,” answered Ji Won, his voice shaking. “I couldn’t take my dad anymore. My grandpa had given me his inheritance and I planned on taking you and Sung Hoon with me. I didn’t tell you about it because I was afraid you wouldn’t leave your family for me. When I came to your house to get you, my uncle’s men were there waiting for me and chased me to the docks. I escaped but I wanted to go back but couldn’t. I could have put your life in danger. This isn’t the first time I’ve cried Mina. I cried when I knew I was going to be separated from you.”

Despite the pain, I managed to smile. Ji Won didn’t want to leave me, I thought. “Look Ji Wonee, I’m wearing the dress I always wanted to wear if we had gotten married.”

Ji Won looked at me. “You’re beautiful Mina,” he said to me. “If everything would have gone as planned, we could have been married here in Korea.”

One thing was still bothering me. I think I managed to hold onto my life this long because of this question. “Ji Wonee, do you love me? I mean romantically, and not as your dongsang.”

Ji Won looked down at Mina. She was beautiful. His heart ached when he saw how pale she was. He realized she never did know that he had loved her all along. “Yes, Mina,” he told her. “I loved you since the first day we met. I loved you then and I had never stopped loving you.” He bent down to kiss her.

My heart was deepened to a warm bliss. Ji Won said he loved me, I told myself as I felt him kiss me. Then a cold realization washed over me but I didn’t really care. I always thought that I was hurt when I didn’t receive Ji Won’s love. Instead, I found out my pain came from when I didn’t give Ji Won enough love. I haven’t told Ji Won I loved him yet.

“Ji Won,” I said to him as he looked down at me. “Thank you for making my dream come true by saying that you love me. I know you’re lying and just saying it to repay me but you didn’t have to. I did it all because I—I—“

I was losing my voice. Not now, please, I prayed as tears fell down my face. I need to tell him before I go. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the white marble stone Ji Won had given to me when I was Min Sung. I pointed towards the ocean to make Ji Won look. I threw the stone with all my remaining strength. It skipped 3 times.

‘Perfect,’ I thought as I closed my eyes for the last time.

As Ji Won listened to what Mina was saying, he was stunned still. He couldn’t believe his ears. She thought he was saying he loved her as payment of what she had done for him. More tears fell down his face as he shook his head. Then when Mina pointed out to the ocean, Ji Won saw her throw the stone he had given her.

It skipped 3 times. I love you.

Ji Won smiled, knowing that Mina loved him too. He had known that she had loved him all along but she never told it to him either. “Mina, you don’t understand. I do love you!” he shouted. Then Ji Won looked down at her. She had passed on.

“Mina?”

He shook her gently. Her body was still and completely lifeless. “Mina!” he screamed in pain. He held onto her tightly, burying his face into her neck. He was crying so loudly and painfully that both their bodies shook.

Sung Hoon and the others finally made it to where Ji Won and Mina was. They circled Ji Won, who was bent over holding someone they couldn’t see.

“Hyung,” said Sung Hoon as he put his hand on Ji Won’s shoulder. “Are you okay? Where’s Min Sung?”

Ji Won lifted his head up and Sung Hoon saw who Ji Won was holding. He fell back into the sand shocked.

“M…Mina?” he asked in disbelief.

“Mina?” the others repeated.

“Min Sung is Mina?” asked Ji Yong.

Ji Won nodded his head. “She dressed up as a guy to join SechsKies to be with me.”

“You’re right, Mickey. Mina did love Matthew hyung,” said Jae Duc quietly.

Sung Hoon got up and hugged both Ji Won’s and Mina’s bodies tightly. “Why?” he asked crying. Everyone remained silent. Ji Won shook his head. He moved away from Sung Hoon and turned to face all of them.

“SechsKies is my family. You guys are all like my brothers. Please be my witness as I make this promise to Mina.” They nodded their heads sadly and listened.

“Mina,” Ji Won began. “When you were alive, I was never able to tell you that I loved you. Now that you’re gone, you don’t believe I love you. Even though I never showed you the kind of love you wanted me to, it doesn’t mean I didn’t love you with all I have.” Ji Won paused and yanked off the ring around his necklace. “With SechsKies here as my witnesses, I, Eun Ji Won, take Nam Mina as my wife ‘til eternity. I have nothing to give you Mina except my heart, which belonged to you from the first day we met.”

He kissed her lips as he slipped on the ring. The others watched him in silence. They were surprised when because of all the time Ji Won had been their leader, he had never used his real name Ji Won before. They knew he was serious. When it was over, Ji Won lifted Mina up into his arms as he stood up.

“As your leader, I have a final announcement to make. I am quitting SechsKies.”

“What?” they all asked in disbelief.

“Hyung,” said Su Won. “Please reconsider.”

Ji Won shook his head. “This is the second time Mina left me. I really can’t go on as your leader. The person I loved the most is taken away from me too soon and she died not knowing that I truly do love her.”

The others understood what Ji Won meant. Jae Jin walked up to Ji Won. “What do you plan to do then Matthew?”

“I don’t know,” he answered. I’ll be somewhere where I’ll always be with Mina and constantly remind her that I love her. And as for SechsKies, with all the money and businesses we have, I don’t see any reason why we have to commit any more crimes. We each have enough money to spend for the rest of our lives already.”

They all nodded.

Ji Won placed a hand on Sung Hoon’s shoulder. “Sung Hoon,” said Ji Won.

“Yes hyung?” asked Sung Hoon. “If you do love Kyung Hee, tell her before it’s too late.”

Sung Hoon nodded. “I will.”

Ji Won looked at his 5 brothers for the last time. “This final meeting of SechsKies is now adjourned. I wish you all the best and hope you do find your true love because I have. Good bye.”

Ji Won picked up Mina’s book and scribbled something into it. When he was done, he placed it down back on the rock. Then Ji Won lifted Mina’s body up into his arms as he walked away.

“Hyung!” shouted Sung Hoon. “Where are you going?”

Ji Won continued walking and didn’t answer him. The 5 Kies watched their leader walk towards the sunset carrying his bride and disappeared. They picked up the book to see what Ji Won had written. The last entry of Mina’s story was,

“True love never has an ending.”

Mahai The Tags

2008-07-08T13:24:00.004+08:00

Instructions:Remove one question from below and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions. Then tag 8 people from your list. List them out at the end of the post. Notify them that they have been tagged.

1. At what age you wished to marry?

I really doubt i will =.=

2.Will you consider sexual relationships before marriage?

Need i consider?Refer to answer of question 1.

3. Do you smoke?

NO. But tried several times. ( you know i know we know)

4. What are your phobias?
Err really can't think of any besides fear of snakes.

5. Who did you mostly text yesterday?

The name begins with a S..most would know. Not many messages but its the most of the day =,=

6. How old are you and are you a virgin?

17 going 18. Yes.Don't i look like one ?

7. What is the latest thing you bought with your own money?

Errr..maggi goreng with telur mata plus one hard boiled egg plus sup kambing plus 2 cups or sirap. 10.20 at sup hameed.

8. Chocolates , Oreo or Vanilla?
I rarely take either one also

9. Where do you wish to get married?

Err if i do..somewhere i'll be constantly reminded of. Over clear blue lake right smack in the middle dressed completely white.

10. How old do you think you will be permanently owned by love?

I am trying to find out as well.

11. How many kids do you want?
Haven't thought about it.

12.What is your full name?

Warren Loh Yu-Shen.

13. Name the latest book you bought?

Budak Getah. ( its a comic by the way)

14. Do you prefer mother or father?
Both cause they both have alternate moments of good moods.

15.Name the first person you want to meet in life for the first time?

Warren Buffet.

16.Name the first person that came into your mind.

Can't tell sorry. Would cause more havoc only.

17. The most exciting place you want to go?

My dreams.

18. What is your favourite colour?

Blue.

19.Do you believe in God?
Errrrrrrrrrrr.........sensitive issue i shall not comment further.

20. Do you do your laundry?
Sort of.

21.Point out 5 things about the person who tag you. Ning.
1. Loves chocolate.
2. Loves Lim Howen.
3. Loves to blog
4. Is in confusion.
5. Is an emotional freak.

22. I tag

NO ONE.
(Cause i know its troublesome) =)

My Friend =)

2008-07-05T12:50:00.004+08:00

My Friend ---> Koh Su Yang.

is

wonderful-amazing-perverted-wild-random-sexual-chocolate-ly

mahai...

power gila i tell you he came up with his new theories.
So

Theory Number 1.

Girls have two purposes in life

Purpose number 1 : - - - - - - - - - > To cook < - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Purpose number 2 : - - - - - -- - - -> To suck < - - - - - -- - - - - - - -

____________________________________________________________________

okay so he is dam power to tell us all of a sudden and he was so damn cool bout it like its seriously real. :D

Theory Number 2.

Girls have two purposes in bed.

Purpose number 1 : ==========> To give pleasure to the guy <===========

Purpose number 2 : ==========> To feel pain <================

____________________________________________________________________

Ah hin max level la him =.=

salute the perverted masked hero Su Yang

Jan jan

2008-07-01T13:17:00.005+08:00

I'll start with a thanks and good luck. To a friend whom i have known for the past half year.

Janice Lim Su Leen.
Its been at least 5 to 6 months together in the same course, sitting in the same row, just a few seats away or might be even beside. Months of studying, fun and of course doing many things together with all other friends, Kel, Aaron, Von , Cecilia , Shaun , Khang khang, Colin. All sorta places been together, be it between classes or after class.
The times where i used to fetch u almost everyday to college just cause we all go for breakfast together. Little did i know that those days were limited.
So many things happened during the short period, time flies. It has always been that way, but its for us to look ahead. Time is a role model, it doesn't go back neither does it turn back, it faces forward and moves ahead constantly. Thats how we should be, the past is for us to refer to. If we dwell in the past then we are merely a dreamer. Life has a lot more in stored for us in the future, don't miss it while looking behind.
You accepted an opportunity of a lifetime, don't regret it because you have made the correct choice. Now all you have to do is to appreciate it.

Time spent with you have been absolutely fun and to think of it actually it was really quite fun with you. Sorry for not being there the pass few weeks, a little distance between me and you would not be so heavy for you when you leave anyways :D

As long as i can still spell Friend , you will always be one.

First few weeks of our second semester will be awkward but its for us to live with it as well so for all of us, moving on is the first task. Smiling bout it would be second.

Therefore, Good luck in your new life, we'll definitely meet again with no doubt. ( INTI Nilai isn't very far anyways..a few hours drive will do :D )

Yet another day without you

2008-06-28T12:37:00.003+08:00

I dont know if its true but when people say they learn from mistakes, why doesn't it happen to me =.=

Im going through the same thing again and i f u c k i n g noe it =.=

Arghhhhhhhh

The feeling of seeing the bright light....then suddenly, SLAM!!! right in your face

Hope?confidence?hasn't been helping lately.its more to a fantasy

There goes, a msg arrives at my phone, but its another disappointment. Repeatedly happening for the past week.

At this point, i don't know what to do anymore.

Got it from Kel

2008-06-28T12:30:00.001+08:00

Your Deadly Sins

Greed: 80%

Envy: 40%

Pride: 40%

Gluttony: 20%

Sloth: 20%

Wrath: 20%

Lust: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 31%

You'll die in a castle, surrounded by servants.

How Sinful Are You?

I really dunno if this is a good or bad result though. To me its rather wrong =.=

Unmistakably for you

2008-06-27T12:44:00.004+08:00

Its just a story to tell.

It doesn't affect anything.

The past IS the past.

Theres nothing to worry about thinking of it.

When you stumble upon something you remember,
something you had good times with.

Smile about it, not getting upset about it.

The past helps to build us.
Without the past, we wont be who we are right now.
We wont be the exact person we are right now.
Its our history that changed our character, changed our life.

Sometimes we turn to look at whats left behind.
It isn't wrong to do so,
In fact its the correct thing to retrace our steps
To see that its heading the correct direction.

The past may haunt you,
Its only a matter of time before it gets tired of doing so
The thing is, sometimes we go around thinking we are weaker
Inferior, lower or even the worst of the worse.
This is caused by not letting go of whats happened in our life.
Holding too tightly, with just a spark of hope that things could rewind.
That would be drowning in the past.

Swimming downwards constantly isn't gonna help you
The deeper you go, the worse it gets
Don't let the past kill you

I know its difficult
And i know you're trying hard
Let me be there for you
To guide you
To lift you up to the surface
Where everything is clearer and brighter

The past is where we learn our mistakes from
Not to dwell in.
Its futile trying to turn back time.
Cause it will never happen
If we could rewind time,
everyone will take things for granted
And the past is what makes us appreciate what we have right before our eyes.

The past does not and will not affect a thing between us
It'll just merely be a reference book showing the Do's and Don'ts
Use it well

No matter how far you have fallen in the past,
Its doesn't matter
For the thing that matters most is that you can pick yourself up
And growing out of it
Thats what counts
I know you are capable of doing so
Everyone is capable of doing more than they think
You do too.

Like i have always said,
Everyone deserves a chance
So the world hasn't ended yet.
Get up and walk forward
It isn't worth it to stop now
Theres far too much to be missed if you stop
Look forward, theres so much in store for you
Its only if you are willing to let go of whats in your hand
Then you are be able to grasp the next thing that comes to you

Help me help you
I know that i can assist you
Let me be there to pull you away from it all
Start afresh.
Walk away from it all, smiling
Step into a new world, laughing

Just a reminder, i'll be there whenever you need to unload.
Live life to the fullest people say :D
Its just a matter of time before everything turns out better
Give it time

Say ' Dont Want'

2008-06-19T12:46:00.004+08:00

Feeling down?depressed?stressed?

Alcohol!!!

is not the way to relieve yourself.

Drinks are not good for health. It hurts your liver, hurts your heart and most of all hurts your pocket.

They are just a temporary relieve for your mental pain but worsens it thereafter. So please stop drinking for the sake of it. It is rely Bo Tat.

Thank You

Say ' Tak Nak'

2008-06-19T12:38:00.004+08:00

Say Noooooo to cigarettes!

Kata tak nak kepada rokok!

Kong mai sok hun ki!

Ciang bu yao xi yan!

Inga puringe kata mau kote! ( tamil i dunno)

So to all smokers out there please stop smoking. Its bad for health to put a stick to your mouth be it small stick or bigger stick. So whenever you see a cig, just walk away from it.

If you think smoking is the solution,

THINK AGAIN

* advertisement rings *

So please be considerate. Don't kill yourself even if you want to kill the people around you. Imagine all the things you will miss if you die years earlier just because of cigs.

Thank You

The Road Not Taken by Albert Einstein

2008-06-19T12:20:00.004+08:00

NGEK NGEK NGEK NGEK HA HA HA HA HO HO HO HO HI HI HI HI HE HE HE HE HE NGO NGO NGO NGO NGA NGA NGA BE BE BE BI BI BI BI BA BA BA BA BO BO BO BO

PU PU PU KI KI KI KI BIN BIN BIN BIN HA HA HA LO LO LO LO L L L L X X X X X HA HO HE HI HO HU HA HE HI HO PEI PEI PEI PEI PO PO PO PO PA LA LA LA LA

KE KE KE KE ON ON ON ON KA KA KA KA N N N N N N HE HE HE HE HE KA KA KA NI NI NI NI NE NE NE NE MA MA MA CI CI CI CI BA BA BA I I I I W W W W W T T T T F F F F O O O O M M M M GO GO GO GO D D D D D Z Z Z

F F F F U U U U C C C C K K K K I I I I N N N N B B B B B O O O O R R R R E E E E D D D D L L L L L A A A A L L L L L E E E E M M M M A A A A L L L L E E E E H H H H

I I I I F F F Y Y Y Y O O O O U U U U C C C C A A A A N N N R R R R E E E E A A A A D D D T T T T T H H H H I I I I S S S S T T T T T H H H H E E E E N N N N Y Y Y Y O O O O U U U U A A A A R R R E E E A A A A F F F F F U U U U C C C C K K K K I I I I N N N N N N N N O O O O L L L L I I I I F F F F E E E E R R R R

OK OK OK OK OK OK KO KO KO KO KO KO M M M M A A A T T T T A A A A A H H H H A A A A I I I I C C C C C H H H H A A A A O O O O C C C C I I I I B B B B A A A A I I I I B B B B B U U U U L L L L A A A A N N N N G G G G S S S S A A A A I I I I B B B B O O O L L L L A A A A N N N N G G G A A A A I I I I

I I I I K K K K E E E E N N N N G G G G Y Y Y Y O O O U U U U M M M M O O O O T T T T H H H H E E E E R R R R F F F F U U U U C C C K K K K E E E E R R R R S S S S S S S S O O O O N N N S S S A A A A N N N N D D D D D D D D A A A A U U U U G G G G H H H H T T T T E E E R R R R S S S S O O O O O F F F F A A A A S S S S E E E E S S S S S

You , Me , Us

2008-06-16T12:31:00.008+08:00

My heart still belongs to you.

Its has always been taken by you.
I liked you.
I tried to let go.

I managed to.

But, then i fell in love with you again.

Its like someone pushed the restart button.

This time it began even better then before.
I liked you.
There were no hangs or lags.

It was smooth.Too smooth to be true.

It shook me for a moment.

Did all the 'awkwardness' just disappear?

Or was it merely shoved aside once more?

Was it ignored just to reduce the barrier between us?

Which ever it was.I'm glad it happened.
I liked you.
Cause this time i fell for you.

Im not gonna let go. I was dumb and foolish to have did.

I really was 'stupid' to do that.

And i'll remain 'stupid' still.
I still liked you.
If being too nice is a sin.

I don't wanna be right.

If its what i have to do to make you smile.

I'll go to hell for it.
Cause I really liked you.
Even if it scars me, i'll give you that moment of happiness and laughter.

Even if it makes you guilty, i'll still make it a laughing matter.

Cause you're like that.

Potential to be happy is overwhelming in you.

I just like to dig it out.

Cause even when i am not in the mood the smile.

I laugh deep inside when i see you happy.
I liked you even more.
You torn me apart countless times.

You whine..like a kid :D

You complain..like a 70 year old grandma :P

You SNORE...like my dad ( LOL)

Yet we both know thats what broke down the walls separating us.
Which changed how i felt about you.
History rich in the highest zeniths and lowest nadirs that i could endure.

We met in a strange way in which i removed the chair from beside me so that you wont sit.

We got close in a strange way, tuition in december.( who does that)

I fell for you in the strangest way

Cause you're so adorable like that.

But i was never suitable for you.

Then, we separated for a moment there. 3 months due to NS.
I still did like you.
It took its toll on me.

And thanks to you i got myself addicted to Ruang Rindu and A1.

It still reminds me of you so much when i listen to it.

Then, the bars between us build up.

So much i can barely see you anymore, physically and mentally.

3 months later, even after you returned. Barriers were to big for us even as friends.
But i still liked you.
It just began with me wondering what were you studying in INTI.

Was it a spark that made me send that message?

It just came all of a sudden.

It was right then we started once again.

Then, so much happened even since.

I sinned for taking you to a club.

Guilty for being the cause of your lost handphone.

Which then caused myself to have to listen to the '3 hours' of cute-guy talk.

It did hurt. But i felt useful. Being there for you and all.
Cause I liked you.
Then, the next time. It didn't turn out well.

You got out of hand perhaps.

I felt useless.

I could not think clearly as to how am i even able to help you with that matter.

A break down. For another. Took a big chunk off my soul.
Yaya I liked you.
Not long later, i did tell you how much i liked you.

And that very moment, fear, anxiety, but you took it all away.

You just have that in you to make me laugh even though its the most awkward conversation we ever had.

How often do you hear someone laughing 10 seconds later after the guy confessed.

And the worse part is the girl is using it on you.

Cant help thinking bout that day. It defines happiness.

Although i was still not suitable for you.
But I started to like you more.
We both took our own 'stupid' path.

Yet, it tore apart so quick.

I created a big concrete wall between us.

Such awkwardness, which totally blocked out the both of us.

It was horrible, i would say the worst day we ever had.

Everything changed from then onwards.

We were never the same.

Things gone from bad to worse as time passes.

Until one day, we talked.

Started with arguing...ended with laughing.( i love this :D)
It made me like you more.
Everything started to turn out better from then onwards.

Though you told me not to wait.

I just did what i think is right or what i should do.

We were alright, better then that actually.

And then so much happened once again. This time the hectic life.

Dances and all. Tests for you.

But even in such a hectic situation we managed to continue with the apartment stay programme.

I made a mistake there, you were there for me to spill.

You just knew how to do it. Even though you have to guess to make me talk.

I fell in love with you over again.

Our awkwardness disapppeared.

We got close once again. Too close til i had to take claws for it :D

I had you. As a very close friend.

Now i have you more then a friend but less than a lover.

Its right in between. But im so glad and happy we got through so much together.

Lately, i've been spending quite some time with you. Even after the performance i still could see you cause you are my teacher after all :D

Then, for the weekend. You were away and i was busy. Sorry for not being able to accompany you much.

I said i will tell you when the stress is over. I will

Gimme that chance to tell and i definitely will.
Cause now i dont like you.
Cause everytime i look into your eyes. I know somethings there that i can have.

Something i tried to but couldn't succeed.

Something i desired and still desiring.

Something that keeps me smiling from day to day.

Something that i am still waiting for even though you said it was not worth it.

Cause i thought otherwise.

So yeah i am still waiting whether you realised it or not.

I love you.

Over

2008-06-15T14:06:00.003+08:00

Theeeeee streessssssssss is overrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!

Whoa Inti Night over, ASEAN test over. Feels so much better.So now im gonna storytell champion stuff :D

1st day of the test :

Woke up in time. Drive off at around 10.45am.

Drive drive and took the wrong exit. Was supposed to go Seberang Jaya instead go Sungai Dua. The REAL sungai. Drive all the way back to Seberang to find Sunway Carnival Mall.
Then, park and go up to the Convention Centre.
Up the escalator i go ~~~ to see a swarm of nerds =.= lemaleh i tell you..why so nerd one everybody there =.=
Then, met Jonathan Teh,long lost classmate :D and later met Adelyn to find out she really looks at me as a super dvd seller d thanks to tiger-ryn.
Went in to take attendance and the exam started soon after. Which then i realise i left my log book in the car ( yesh good job)
But lucky me dont have to use aso =)
So, Math began, with lotsa lucks i manage to see the first question easy :D but the fifth one left my mouth hanging d.( good job again)
25 questions of f c k e d up brain cracks. How i wished i had me last year brains then it would all be so simple =.=
NEXT, English paper 1. I din even know it had 2 papers =.=
So, it was sort of just comprehension. Read the passage and bla bla bla..which took me an hour to finish. Look around see everyone still so into it...so me decided to rest me head on the table :D and next ting i see quacking ducks in dreams :D ( Champion style..the oni useless bugger to sleep in a scholarship exam)
Paper 2 was alright, given half and hour to write an essay of about 350 words.
Then it was over for the day, drove back to happy happy joy joy stuff and home.
HoMe!!! not for long =.=
Realised me parents wont be home for the night..so thanks to the darkness i was pulled to mois
But it wasn't so bad afterall. Met new friends Sara, Kamal and Shah or sumtin lidat(i duno how to spel la) It was alright la for 10 bucks :D
Then head on to Raffe for sum food and more laughter. The duo Dumb n Dumber talking is worse then Aric and Kok talking man. Anyhow, reached home around 4. Slepttttttttt
O yeah, sorry tigerryn for replyin late :D clubs u noe lah har

2nd day of the test :

WOKE UP 7.. early yeah hahahah then went back to sleep =.='
woke up again at 9.30 ( VERY GOOD JOB)
Was suppose to report at the Centre at 9. So yeah super speed all the way to Sunway in less then 20 mins and uhh..got there around 10.
Had to lie T_T saying i got into an accident. Then they were like ' Are you ok?Want a drink?better sit down first ok?are you hurt?' OMG they are so nice ok why i must sin to get such treatment..Then went in for the briefing late..Everyone stared at me as i enter with the ' wtf' look =.=
Had a private briefing 1 to 1 sumore. Then next was the exam. General Ability test which is a test of how-good-your-eyes-are oni lah lol. 36 questions in 40 minutes. Was alright tho quite easy :D
Anyhow, almost dieded twice in less den 5 hours so 2day i shall stay good. Petrol is dry pocket is dry. stay good day for me.

INTI Night

2008-06-12T00:29:00.002+08:00

Menggilaaaa practice up till now :D
Money and time fly fly just for 5 minutes of performance just so we ada muka =)

But last minute just had to potong away a part of it. O man dis sux...wtf la call themselves organizing committee.

Well, i have no say in that..all i can hope is everything goes smoothly. Lets hope the entire night turns out alright. Best of luck to all performers lah :D

THE Weekend

2008-06-09T08:16:00.006+08:00

Fun fun fun
Happy happy joy joy
The apartment stay was great.

First of all, thanks a great lot to everyone Karyn, Kel, Ning, Reuben, Howen, Yang for coming. Hope it was a fun time for y'all :D

A very happening weekend actually..alot alot lottty lot happened

from grabbing cocks =.= ( courtesy of Kelvin Lim. bugger got the entire apartment cock grabbed)

to emo night ( u noe i noe we noe) * Kel ~ it was mild seven?or dunhill? and o ya btw
ryn, S O R R Y Y Y Y Y it was really my fault and thanks for knowing how to dig things out from me :D even tho u made the guessing anyways

to seasides with ben-jas and kel-yen and yang ( su yang..we r sad i noe :D anyways took sum pics there but lazy upload so takpe lah )

to berenang ( o man if oni i got underwater camera i swear ill record the doggy paddle! holy @#$% its one in a million man LOL and and t h a n k s alot for the make-sure-remember-me-harimau-betina claws which got me stinging for the pass 2 days not to mention the rest of the rape scars..dam seaside+seashell i will have revenge on ur myvi :D )

to kung fu warren panda ( wat the hell ' warren can u see your own feet when standing straight?' matahai..i got so fat anot knnmcbwtfomg =.= )

to driving big car =) **Howen dam pretending pretending laa wanna jiwang in own car then call me drive say tired sumo jiwang non stop. Huyo just be honest and tell the truth la i will understand one la next time )

to potongness ( thanks to the lovey dovey birds which potong cut cut cut our excitement twice in 2 nights which made the trip dota-absent )

to sleeping and more sleeping ( errr nothing much to comment righttt..except the fact that i always end up sleeping an hour later then the time i start to lie down. and also always waking up with the sun in me eyes and the shiver in me legs. uhuh ' noe ah i always wake up with an extra blanket u noe ' wtf shows the gratitude =.= )

and to eating ( omg food is satisfying..TAO, chicken rice, more chicken rice)

to clubbing(precious moment= kel long jong toh and this time the emo queen was so darn happy and not drunk.congrats :D)

to being a driver again ( Tanjung Bungah --> INTI --> BJ --> INTI --> Home) Badawi kong ah 2.70 per litre lu chai bo.

came back at 5 plus..slept with occasional wakes uppss to reply msgs =.= and RIP at around 7 til the nex morning at 7 :D 12 hours of sleep omg so nice

SO--now back to boring routine :D another 6 weeks of holiday..sumhow the first week passed quite fast lol

ASEAN

2008-06-05T11:06:00.000+08:00

I am in desperate need of opinions and comments =.=

Woke up and a freaking letter came to me. Have to attend a stupid Selection Test for ASEAN Pre-U Scholarship =.=

OMG its a freaking test on math, english and general ability ( wats that ninja skill?)

On the other hand, :D it might be a good chance to get away from here if i obtain it :D

A long drive all the way to butterworth, cause the test is in Sunway Convention Centre ( shit knows where is it) and its for 2 days so yeah thanks to the increment of petrol price this suxxxxxx

Anyways, IF i am able to get it..which the chances are pretty low anyways..should or shouldnt i go? hmmmmmmmmm stressed out all of a sudden..and i thought i could just settle down in penang for some time

Gimme some opinions ok? thanks in advance :D

xxxxxxxxxxxGood Luckxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

2008-06-05T10:59:00.004+08:00

DO NOT FAIL AGAIN

IF U FAIL AGAIN IM WORRIED OF EVEN MAKING YOU MY DRIVER

So Good Luck and get it fast :D

Cause i need to car pool with you d.Petrol price shot through the roof so now you have to suffer for getting your license so late.

Courtesy Of I D J A S U S P S

2008-06-04T00:01:00.002+08:00

'Buat baik dibalas Baik'

Fuck la you actually believe that?
Must be a big sohai to believe something so stupid =.=
So what happens to the teachings of doing good deeds you will be blessed :D

Blessed with dumbness and stupidity

Good one you dumb fucks

How many rich people and successful ones were honest and 'good' everyday?
Those Mr Nice guys years and years ago were like ' yeah im helping out now in the future ill gain something worth my effort'

A family and an income only just right to feed the entire family with grumbling family members and on top of all grumbling to yourself how come nothing good happens to you when all the cheaters get the $$

Face the facts dumb asses.
Being good gets you no where :D only end up lying in your bed every night thinking ' bo tat bo tat'

By then too late d la, gonna kui kiu soon aso de might as well go kan kiu better if wan complain so late in your life.

God is up there to guide you to happiness rite?
ha ha ha ha

If HE is up there lookin down then yes but why would he look down when he can be doing his own happy happy stuff up there. What we do is none of his business anyways it doesnt affect him :D

And yeah IF there is a HE anyway, not to offend people with strong beliefs. But wat the fuck im oredi offending soo yeah too bad lah :D

So lets not continue with the God topic ok its boring palalala

Those who feel happy happy today, congrats
Those who feel fuckky fuckk fucckss today,congrats.

A friend said, ' face the fact, every businessman faces the facts that there is no free goods, just let them eat shit, you gain.'

So true, or else how do you get rich :D

If your thinking ' dont need to be rich to be happy'
Fuck you don be stupid ok hehe

No money no talk no money you can suck ****

If you think so then try living through a week with 5 bucks in you pocket ok? Unless the happiness you have is ' my lover can pay for my food' then its different =)

Do i sound rude? my profanities are a bit off i know
A bit bit off cause actualy its worse then this so yeah i dunno why am i so fucking polite :D
Its not like i cant curse or anything on my blog
So wat if i curse rite..whos gonna scold me ?
Ah Hin aso beh kiu d 1 ah so be so polite kamlan eh ah?

Keonkan lah ill jz stop here. Really no point continuing. And o yeah stop asking if im ok anot. I AM ALRIGHT. really don get english one these people. look whos the real dvd sellers now

Bad Omen

2008-06-03T09:48:00.005+08:00

Woke up at 8 =.=
Cause i couldnt breathe. Its like a torture early in the morning. The more you breathe the worse it gets..what do u do?

Lately, too many has happened. The graph goes uneven and everything seems right and wrong.

Having to sleep and wake up with endless worries and thoughts going through my head =(
Just doesnt feel good at all..

I
D
J
A
S
U
S
P
S

Thats how i feel. Gosh it sux when your flooded with all those what more 'flooded' in the house. It cant get any worse.

Anyways its the beginning of semester holidays, its currently the 2nd day of holiday and i already feel like im in it for a month.
Its a 'good' start for a holiday. Keeps the mind active for the holiday and breaks down when the nex sem starts.

O well lots to handle lately, stuff and more stuff.

( Honestly, im really not in the mood to blog for a long period of time. Maybe until things settle down.)

I'll just hope things start to turn to the brighter side soon.

To whom It May C o n c e r n

2008-05-25T03:29:00.009+08:00

Yeah its been quite awhile
Its a good ting you woke up.
You finally see that it all makes sense
And the road is clear.
The goal is in sight

You have been in denial for too long
Choosing every bad from good
Stop right now

The lion and his pride walks side by side

Remember this?
It is sumtin everyone has to keep
You know what it is
Yeah, every guy must keep that up or it all falls
If that happens, death would be a better option.

At least now you can breath slightly
Its a good thing
Going this far, you just know its all gona be worth it
Bear with it
It isn't long for you
Bet you can do it even if its 10 times the duration

Like i said
You are just getting it all sooner then others
Don't say its hard
There are others who don't even get the chance to wait
Or to even witness it
Be contented
Cause what you have is precious

Stop blaming
No one is to be blamed
Not yourself
It isn't time to point fingers
Not to yourself
Its time to give away that small space in your heart
Cause giving that just space is to forgive
And the person who needs forgiving isn't anyone but yourself

You know you can get through it so why not give it a try

Stop tearing yourself apart
Its not worth it to put yourself into the fire
Its no solution
Its an escape
Get tings strait by going through it
Not around it

Now you have awoken
See that everything is now within your grasp
You have something to look forward to
An aim
A goal to reach
To work for
Be happy now, Be contented
Cause when you just have even that slight smile on your face
It makes all the difference in the world
When you have what you want
You will look back at all this to know how much you've been through
And thats what makes you appreciate it all

Every piece of the puzzle will be back where its suppose to be
Soon
And when it does
You shall smile and laugh
Even if the day starts of bad
You smile at the end of it
Cause it is another day where you wake up to see you have what you want
Where you see, you reached your aim
And thats all that matters

Put that happiness back into your daily life
Cause its the only thing that you should be doing
Now and ever
For you have nothing to lose when you do so

Get a grip now
Everyone is here for you
To pick you up when you come crashing down
To life you when you cant go higher
To stop you when you its for the better
To leave you alone when we know we better do

Stay strong..We know you can :D

Its Sudden

2008-05-21T17:59:00.006+08:00

I know how its been.
I know its not the same.
I just want to see something familiar again.
No matter how much you have changed
No matter how far you've gone
You know im still right here for you
I will mend your broken pieces
I will put smiles and laughter into you no matter what it takes.
I wont be the same perhaps, neither will all of us
But things between us remains unchanged
If this is weird then think again
We've been in weirder conversations and situations
When i see you, im constantly reminded of so many things
Make me forget them, and i wont be who i am
Precious moments, cant be forgotten so easily
At times i wanna knock you so hard
It might be cause i want to wake you up
But seeing you so happy in that dream
I dare not anymore
No matter how hard it is for you i will still be your backbone
Even when everyone tells you you cant, i'd say u can
I'd still be the one to listen, to complain and to curse.
I'm still me so dont take that for granted.

Its for you

Always Be My Baby (Studio) - David Cook

David Masak

2008-05-17T15:17:00.001+08:00

Dam nice la wei

Stress

2008-05-17T10:52:00.004+08:00

too many things d =.= overloaded

1. Exam
2. Dance
3. Performance
4. Debate =.= thx to aaron
5. Genting (dam susah)
6. Dan LAIN LAIN LAGI

knnmcbwtf i tak boleh tahan d..fucking sien haihh

So not in the mood

2008-05-17T10:15:00.002+08:00

I cant blog lately..dam moodless to do it.
Cant tell stuff properly anymore.
sien

Lets hope the sparkles don accumulate to burst right in front of my face =.=

Lately

2008-05-17T09:48:00.003+08:00

Yeah too much has happened
some =.=
some T.T
some :D
some mlm

but glad most of it is over besides exams, and that'll be a =(

Well, last night, out out guy time with 2 newcomers Karyn and Su Yang. (noobies)

Began like....
' Shouldn't have come can i go home now?'

but fortunately, master cupid never fails to aim his arrow again lol
thank god or thank whoever everytin turned out alright and i've seen the ship returning to port :D

A night of mixed emotions..i dont know what exactly were the good and bad things that happened but i know the good thing i was hoping for came true ( n thats all dat matters)

ok then, bloody-car-racing shit thanks to reuben its so dam wasting petrol somemore so dam futile how to win la =.= then pool as usual jz dat dis time tings were different.Then,to Northam Beach Cafe off we go.

Sit,drink, crap. No life yah i noe bah i dont care.

Anyhow,as long as its happy happy joy joy in the end its worth it i guess :D

Forced to

2008-05-11T19:20:00.004+08:00

Who are your top 4 friends?
1. Ning
2. Karyn
3. Kelvin
4. Reuben
*By naming them means you have tagged them to re-do this survey.

You all are trapped on a desserted island...(start imagining...)
Who jumps in the water and tries to swim home?
- Reuben.
Who starts crying and saying their too young to die?
- Karyn. ( definitely)
Who tries to make a raft out of grass and palm leaves?
- Ning and I. :D
Who starts chasing a squirrel so they can eat it?
- Kelvin. ( he gets hungry quick)
Who helps make the shelter?
- Reuben and Kelvin.
Who becomes depressed and says that there's no hope?
- Karyn.
Who actually tries to think of a plan to get out?
- Reuben.
Who starts jumping up and down screaming?
- Kelvin and Karyn.
Who's in denial and looking all over for the hidden video cameras?
- Ning?lol yaya.

Two weeks later...
An argument breaks out between 3 of the members...Who are they?
- Karyn, Kelvin and Ning
Why are they arguing?
- Who gets to eat meat?
Who wins?
- Karyn. Like DUHH.
What were you and the other one left doing?
- Sitting somewhere by a tree going all emo while reuben strikes a how-to-earn money convo. =)

Another week later, food supply is running low, you decide to split up to go find food.
What did you find?
- Banana.
What does person 1 find?
- Something to take picture with. (typical)
What does person 2 find?
- A cute guy :D ( in her dreams )
What does person 3 find?
- Fish. (He likes to fish)
What does person 4 find?
- A way to make more money LOL
Which person comes back after two minutes because they claim to be tired?
- Karyn. LOL.
Which person actually comes back with food but takes days to find it?
- Kelvin.
Which person goofs off all the time and doesn't do anything at all?
- Ning (good actor)

Suddenly a boat arrives...(yay!)
Who's actually sad and claims they'll miss the island?
- Ning and Kelvin probably.
Who's so happy they jumps onto the boat and sinks it?
- Karyn.

Finally another boat came and brought you all home.
Who mis-spells your name in a book they wrote about all of this?
- Noone.
Who secretly wishes they could've stayed there longer?
- Kelvin ( he belongs)
Who never want to be reminded about this?
- Everyone i guess except Kelvin.
What about you?
- I would be happy to go home (thats it ) :D
Who back at home will be panicking?
- Parents hopefully LOL
Who did you think sent the boat?
- Err...Lets hope its someone pretty Lol.

New !

2008-05-09T15:58:00.005+08:00

wheeeeeeeee got myself a new hairstyle :D or more like half a head new hairstyle lol
got my fringe straightened which costed 15 bucks but i so din feel a thing cause my mum was there =)

( picture taken by Ning so dont blame me for looking bad its her fault ENTIRELY xd )

So much neater then before so its nice XD not to mention so syok i can throw my hair d Mwahahahahahaha
Another new style will be coming soon :D expect it this sunday
Its jz so dam fun messing around like dis =)

Should or shouldn't?

2008-05-07T13:48:00.002+08:00

Hmmmm i was thinking of highlighting or dye-ing my hair recently..
Yah hipocrit AGAIN.
Said i wouldn't do it last time and now im so curious to try it out :D
Well, i did many things i despised before and so what? Its not like i have much to lose by doing so anyway.

Okay so back to the topic..should i or shouldn't? pls gimme some comments.
I've asked a few and all of them said..NO damn 'tukao'.
But i seem to be stil so curious and although its gonna burn another hole in my wallet but its fun
:D
So if i do highlight or dye =.= i hope its gonna be worth it and if i do wheeeeeeeeeeee its gonna be so fun to see the faces of my friends when they see it @@ lol cant wait to see their reaction..Its so gonna be ' walao dam tukao la u' =)

Curiosity Kills =(
I so hope its gonna turn out fine if i do...

Disappointed

2008-05-05T18:59:00.004+08:00

Omg..its such a disappointing day. Haih..never thought it would end up like this. All the while i had such high hopes..then all of a sudden today, it just comes crashing down like theres no end.
Why why why why????

Its just like seeing this, this light...brightens your day. You tell yourself, 'Yes' theres hope!

Then,

IT JUST CLOSES!!!
omg see that? Slam! everything gone slowly =(

That! is disappointment..

so WHY WHY!??
why does the new INTI intake have no pretty gals =(

if theres any there pls kindly show yourself more =)
So, please make May intake proud and prove there are leng lui's in this intake
LOL ok dis post sounds SAS but whatever~~
READ THE P/S! MAKE SURE!

p/s : This post is not meant to offend anyone especialy from the May intake =) Prove me wrong ;)

mwahahahahaha im so kind *_*

LOVE CONTRACT

2008-05-02T21:54:00.004+08:00

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Any1 interested in drama series?
im here to advertise Love Contract.. =)
Its a whee god damm wooo nice show. U can watch it on youtube. Start from episode 1 ok? n dont skip =.= it ruins the fun of it although im so lookin forward to a certain part of it but i just follow on =)

HappYness

2008-05-02T21:39:00.007+08:00

Read this sumtimes its so true =)

NEXT ~~~ see this and understand it

LAST BUT NOT LEAST ITS TIME FOR YOU TO FINE HAPPINESS

Can u see the secret to eternal happiness?
If u can pls tell me coz i cant T_T hahahaha

Good luk ya'all =)

Make things C L E A R

2008-05-02T21:21:00.003+08:00

If i had a wish, i'll take that night back. I would have just fallen asleep and none of it happened. Cause of one msg, juz one, it ruins months of friendship. Worth it?NO!definitely..

I would take it back if u allow me to. I like the way it was. If i get to choose one moment where i like to remain there forever it would be the night where we 'talked it out'. Cause thats one moment where i can define happiness practically.

Rewind it!! How i wish i can, but then another way..i'd repair it right now. Pick up the fallen pieces, patch it up, im sure thats what a good foundation is for. No matter how far we fall, we cant reach 0.

So then i say, if you hope it returns back to normal as well, i will make it happen.

Read This

2008-05-02T21:07:00.003+08:00

I AM NOT EMO!!!

I dunno why people keep thinking i am. Just coz of what i say, don assume alright?
I am just fine the way i am. I have my own problems and its no big deal so DONT make it a big deal.

Havin said all that i still wanna post up this video i found in youtube. Its a nice video. Enjoy it =)

AFTER WATCHING PLS DON TINK IM EMO-ING. thx =)

Yeah

2008-04-28T14:34:00.005+08:00

i can feel the change.
SAS no more to me =) dats good news
Well, im still SA but it doesnt bother me much anymore. ( damn good news) LOL

and Yeah,
stupidity yah ryn..nvm i'll stay stupid then, being smart now would get me bak to SAS again. so its good not being smart sumtimes XD
Had like the most awkward yet one of the nicest conversations. I have never ever ever thought it would happen that way, spilled it out ( thought it was gona turn to another emo convo) yet nop.
Instead she freakin use it on me ( wad da heck if it wasn't 4 o clock in the morning i think i will rely go over and knock u ok )
I mean where got such ting 1 la, tell d den use bak on me 1 eh. wad da shit its totally weird ok
Never tot it would juz turn out so smoothly wif totally no emo-ing at the end =)
But wat da heck la, you're aso stupid rite? LOL ( u noe i noe we noe)
yah yah don worry ur situation will change sum day n dats for sure..i hope it does for me aso

( its pink XD)

No one knows whats in store
But im sure we can think of that too
Friendship with you has never been emotionally sore
Cause i can never predict what you can do
You tell me cause you believe
You believe cause you forgive
No matter what i say or what i do
I know its cause i wanted to

To see you happy and to see you laugh
Nothing else could make my day
I will listen to what you have to say
Even if it takes 'the' 3 hours everyday
I like you?I love you?
It doesnt matter anyway
Cause im just here to say
I will remain 'stupid' everyday.

yaya i noe ur gona so T________T
i juz have to say it

Emo oh Emo

2008-04-28T14:27:00.002+08:00

Totally emo la the night in momo.
I dowan to blog about it yah its quite tragic not to mention emo-full since someone got carried away pretty badly.
It was like a nuclear hit or something and it was all potong potong at the beginning then emo emo at the ending.

Sad ler to see someone emo till lidat. And i pity aric, XD for being shot out of the blue ( u noe i noe we noe) hahahahaha

The night pretty well ended alright except for some ler. Its not like everyting goes happy clappy after drinking. its not certain

Karyn o karyn, it was totally not you to have acted lidat but cant be blamed ler i know how it feels like la XD

Scope And Vote

2008-04-25T15:52:00.002+08:00

VOTE VOTE

Yarsh Yarsh update updates

2008-04-24T11:45:00.003+08:00

UPDATE LA UPDATE LA
ma god with those 2 chip and dale (karyn and ning) bugging, its more like forced to update.ishhhh

Well, yah yah i DID become the driver once again.Went down to Prangin (gosh its been years since i last went there) just to by some happpy line. Instead it was a total waste of time..not to mention petrol T.T

Fetching chip and dale was like having a built-in radio in the car only that this radio doesn't play any music it just keeps talking on and on and when it keeps quiet for just half a minute you would think the 'radio' is malfunctioning.

So then off to queens after prang to meet Jack and Julia(cool couple they watched the snow white n seven dwarf video together)LOL..lets just hope they don put it to practical action.=)

Queens queens, hmmm
my first time eating on a toilet bowl, from a toilet bowl and inside Toilet Bowl.
The food was quite alright i guess except the price =.=
Then, the Congkak story came into place and this is where Kelvin's ideas come in handy(sick ideas)
As the director of the sequel to Congkak, Gasing, the 3 of them were very good scriptwriters and the came out with the sequel to Gasing, Wau.
I know we sound like we're messing with traditional malay games but honestly malay movies are usually very predictable.
Went down to look for Leonard,the gay, which chip and dale and their 'hey hes cute' look came again.hahahaha
Entertained leonard for a moment since he was so auntie-bored in Bonia, or rather i think he entertained us more.
Hmm hmm, watched the movie ' Over her dead body' which was an alright-type of show nothing really great..
Left queens and drop drop drop passengers home and balik rumah time.
Routine yah, its more or less the same everytime theres an outing it just varies the people present and wat sorta crazy ting happens which is the best part of it all =)

O ya, also i found a what she referred to as 6th sensical twin.hahaha
Well thats what ning claims la although i can still see alot alot alot of difference in our 6th sense, besides she has a 7th and i don't.. =S

By the way Ning, you can be so happy-go-lucky so why choose to emo so much? Im sure theres a easier way around it, besides being ur twin i think surely you chose to emo so badly. =x

Well, its updated then, hope its not a 'graveyard' here anymore. n O ya, im so sorry to hear about the NS teachers situation, gosh all of a sudden ning said it.. Im sure the teacher can get through it soon.

For the sake of it

2008-04-22T12:51:00.006+08:00

                                                                   You


                                             Stand                              Walk


                                                   You                            You

                                                                    Fall




update liao lo ~XD

Club club club

2008-04-21T09:47:00.002+08:00

Saturday night that is, boom! 70 bucks flew away in just one night.

But to say the 70 bucks was a total waste isn't so true and yet it might be. Met up with Karyn and her 3 friends Ning, Julia and Siew Li. Surprisingly they opened their own bottle (rich buggers). Anyways we had ours opened soon after which was some drink i haven't drank before. Hennesy, ma god the name sounds so nice but the price also nice.

Well, the mood was slowly setting in with some drinks when all of a sudden the knnmcbwtf police just had to raid during that night at 12.30 right in the midnight. Walao eh, that totally wasted 2 hours just to check our IC numbers. It was so damn potong man it totally destroyed the mood and waiting for the raid to be over was making me so sleepy. The raid ended at like 2 which left us with about an hour or so to enjoy.

Spammed the drinks, took in whatever my stomach could handle. Oh ya it was karyn and ning's first time clubbing so congrats to them for staying sober although karyn got carried away just a little i suppose.

Anyhow, i couldn't remember much of what happened to myself. I only remember so much but based on my friends, I was not really myself. ( which totally ruined everything)
It was totally blur its like my brain was this flickering light which functions on and off.
By the time it ended, i must have fallen down at least once, done something stupid i guess. O well, thats what happens to someone who can't drink much.=)
And for some bloody reason i got all emo-ish which i can't find the proper reason why but i have the rough idea i suppose.
O ya, Karyn lost her phone which she realized only after it was over. Damn pity man, first time clubbing and that happens. Well, im sorry since its partly my fault, for inviting in the first place.
And yeah im sorry also to karyn and ning for yelling all of a sudden when you both were just trying to prevent me from 'driving to the hospital' like ning said. Feel so terrible about it.
We went to mamak to get some supper and also to de-emo and de-drunk some of us i guess.
The table we sat in was like divided into 2 groups, the emo and the non-emo. It was so damn obvious then.hahahahaha

After mamak, we went down to the beach at Crown Prince Hotel ( they make the decision, we drivers use the petrol)
At the beach, the girls were totally enjoying themselves especially karyn and ning and with them both happily enjoying with their 'tweety bird' (HAHAHAHAHA) then guess almost everyone there was quite sober and awake except Julia.
Then, after the sun rose only did everyone decided to go home. =.= Gosh, it was like 7 in the morning d...
Anyways, supposedly had to fetch karyn back but somehow...anyways pai seh nia la k =)
Dropped everyone where their supposed to be and everyone means aric, kayin and teik hong then headed home.
What an eventful night or early morning perhaps with such crazy things happening.
Well then, till my next post on another matter.

Oh and by the way, to (you should know it yourself), the whole i-tell-you-later thing was totally shocking but a little predictable. Don't try to be a pessimist if you're not ok.

~Inspired~

2008-04-18T10:49:00.004+08:00

Class at 2 in the afternoon later, what a day destroyer. It's not even a useful class as i heard from my friends, the teacher was just teaching how to use Microsoft Word. =.=''
Although i can't say its a totally waste of time because there are others that might need the class but maybe they shouldn't make it compulsory.

Theres nothing much to say about today or yesterday so i might as well take this time to talk about other stuff..=)

hmm i think i'll start with some issue which is quite common..taking things for granted.
Well, everyone just ask yourself 'what do i have that no one else have?' Then, think for a moment all the things that you have been complaining about lately which you did only when u were angry or disappointed. We often hear people complain they have weak hands, what about those without hands? And complains further they are too skinny and would like to grow fatter when there are others who are fatter who would like to be slim. Take for example, a boy who belongs to a family which is quite well off. He would still complain if he were to see another person having something he does not have (a car perhaps)

But most important of all, which i have found it to be common, would be people (especially teenagers) are totally not appreciating their own parents. They do not realize how much their parents have done for them. Spent their life with us, fed us, tried their best to give us whatever we wished for and if they could not get us what we wanted, they would feel awfully terrible. Worked day and night just so we could get the education needed so we would be more successful than them. Having done all that, we can just start cursing them and hating them just when they disagree with us. Lets say, you made plans with some friends, definitely looking forward to it right? But your dad or mum disallows you to go out. How would you feel? Unless you weren't really interested in going out, you would feel totally angry not to mention disappointed. Then there comes the moment where we start hating our parents for not being understanding, for not allowing us to go out and starts cursing..Wouldn't you feel this is totally unfair to them? After all they have done for us, just by disagreeing with us several times, we hate them.
By doing so, we would start comparing ourselves with others, maybe other friends who have more freedom. I have some friends who can go out or do whatever they like and their parents do not stop them. Is that good or bad? Does that show they trust their child or it just shows they don't care much about their child? Well, all parents or maybe 99% of all the parents care for their children, just they have different ways to show it. So, if your dad says to stay home, stop letting anger take over instead look on the bright side of it, there might be a reason he disallows with you going out. Don't compare how your parents are with other parents. Theres a reason why you are what you are now and its because your parents are different from others which also makes us different from others.

Hmm, have you ever spent a minute just looking back at what our parents did to give us a comfortable life?
I believe every parent has gone through a tough moment, some tougher than the rest just to make sure we do not suffer in the future. If anyone of you have watched the movie ' Pursuit of Happyness' ( lol i know its spelled wrong but thats the title..you would know why if you watched the movie ) then you would definitely see what it means to be an adult, a parent. Think its difficult to study? Think its difficult being just young adults? Wait till you have to work and support yourself, then reconsider your thoughts.

Having said all that, i think theres one last thing..so there are people who take their parents for granted and people who just don't appreciate their luxury of life. What about those that take others for granted?friends perhaps. Have you ever come across a person who goes out with you or is close to you only for a period of time and realized that they have their reasons of being with you? How does it feel like if you were to trust someone and let that person abuse your trust? Definitely disappointing (that is for sure)..Hmmm, lets just take a simple example, how about someone who mixes with a friend just because he or she can drive? ( simple example =D) then they are just 'using' that friend as a driver. As time passes, when they can find another person to 'bloodsuck' on, they migrate...=.="
Some might find these people very entertaining and would refer to them as very nice friends, that would be the beginning. Like the saying, never judge a book from its cover, it implies to everything including friends. Let yourself be taken for granted and you just have to watch how disappointment eat you alive. Sometimes, those that treat you badly at first maybe the ones that will still be your friend 10 years later. Anyhow, at the end of the day, we will see who are the true friends and its up to us to appreciate it.

Ta da!! the end for now. Till another inspiring mood comes into my mind, maybe something else better next time. Hope you guys enjoy the 'inspiring' post. Leave some comments as to what your opinions are about the matter, it will be greatly appreciated.

p/s : This post is not meant to offend anyone, just a reminder.

Pa la pa la

2008-04-16T14:25:00.000+08:00

Another day of studies, over !
Waking up at 6.30am today is totally stressful and its all thanks to the new subject which began at 8. It was a total waste of my life going to the class which also started half an hour late.
Having began 30 minutes late, the lecturer stepped in and said his first sentence " ok since its the first lesson, i will not be teaching today"..

Knnmcbwtfomg why did i even bother going early. =.=

After sitting in the class for about 30 minutes which we spent declaring who does not know how to use a computer, fortunately we were dismissed from the computer lab in which my comp was not working (what the heck)

So then we were left with about an hour of free time before the next class begins. Tried spending time at the ICT lab playing but none of the computers were online ( so much for a ICT lab ).. Having no better place to head to, its straight to the library!!

Yap we are nerds..if going to a library to sleep is what nerds do. xD

Cramping in the freaking small sofa trying to take a nap took me about 10 minutes before i could actually doze off..happy ending yah =) only for 10 minutes before my friend woke me up for class. Headed to the class but its lock. Thanks very much for waking me up..haha no offense.

Accounts or rather, the mental torture began at 10.10 am.. For some reason, the lecturer seems to love to get to the next topic. Moving at such speed, i bet 40% of the class were seeing stars by the end of the class..lol
The destruction of our brain cells ended at 1.40 but thats not the end..she had to load us with a freaking lot of homework.. mlm

ok then thats about all that happened today, now i better get on with my homework =(

First Blood of my newly made blog.

2008-04-15T21:54:00.000+08:00

Well, after long complaining why would anyone blog..guess i was also tempted by curiosity.
I used to think why do people waste their time sitting in front of the comp typing about their daily activities. Well there are people who keep diaries coz its their way of keeping their secrets or keeping track of their daily actvities. Then, why would anyone sit in front of a computer to tell the public about their daily activities. Is it that they have too much time? Or is it just the fact they have some thoughts to tell the world?

Curious me... =S

Having thought and told many of my friends how dumb blogging was, I finally began my own..hahaha hipocrit yah..i know =)

So, being my first post in my new blog, guess i have to indulge in the ' tell-the-world-what-i-am-doing' attitude.

I am at E-gate hanging out at Starbucks...yah yah 'rich kid' but sadly no..I happen to be the only one without a drink in hand...T.T
10 bucks at least for a drink is a pure scam but people do buy it because it is tasty and to me, its worth the 10 bucks because the coffee is g o o d.

Actually, being the mastermind of calling everyone out here, its because a friend of mine is leaving for Belgium tomorrow 9 in the morning. K.M.Ching, the golden leg and golden brain. Pursuing a dream far different than any other friend i know, playing football in the English Premier League.

'LOL' is what many think or do when they hear a Malaysian is goin for EPL..There are many who have the thought of doing so but how many actually take action..Action speaks louder den words...so many know the saying but none actually prove it..Fortunate of me, i can say that i have a friend trying to make his dreams come true. He is leaving for Belgium for a one-month trial at football club.

Even with such skills in football, that bugger actually managed to score straight A's in his spm..WTF la..he can finish a book of 200 pages in few hours..I did not know if he was lying or what but he proven it true by performing well..that fella, I would never forget how often he slept in class but managed to keep up with his studies..hahaha 3 stooges in 5 Cekal..him, Jeffrey Lee and me...sleep-masters in class with record of being nagged by teachers at least once every week.

ok, enuf of the EPL player..lolz..am currently here with kelvin, aaron and adrian. =)

By the way, i am definitely new at blogging so i hope i am able to blog often to keep it updated with the latest happenings in my life..Happy to meet anyone else blogging..
I'll end right here then, have to save some for next time ya know...

Ciaoz~